Holliewood

2011-12-30T23:23:00.000-08:00

A lot of people had issues with 2011 and there were definitely some bumpy moments. But this year has been exceedingly spectacular and I'm feeling eager and optimist about what 2012 has in store (Mayans be damned!)

Major accomplishments for 2011 include;

* Paying off my debt...which means I am officially debt free for the first time in my adult life. It is so nice that when each month rolls around, I no longer have to play credit card roulette.

* Moving my Mom to LA- This seemed like a pipe dream when we talked about it a little over a year ago. And now she's safely tucked away less than 5 minutes away from us and we're able to help her out, visit and celebrate the holidays. Even better, no more expensive trips to Texas!

* Good stuff on the writing front, working and creating and continuing to be inspired. I am very lucky but I am also proud that I've never given up. No matter what obstacles were put in my way, I kept my eye on the prize. And I'm even more grateful for the people in my life who have encouraged me. Even when I got discouraged, they were always there cheering me on.

Though there's plenty more to be happy with, good health, great boyfriend and family and friends I adore, those were the highlights.

And a few basic resolutions which I will (inevitably) break but I figure even if I attempt them, I'm already ahead of the game.

1) Keep on Saving- Now that I'm debt free, I'll be able to save more. I've already gotten a head start and I'm not house crazy or anything but a nice nest egg is always a good thing.

2) Yoga and Bootcamp- I love my cardio workouts but I'm in desperate need of some zen in my life. Sometimes I find it hard to be quiet and still that long but that's why it's even more important. I'm going to work hard to find balance and do both.

3) Disconnect- Speaking of balance, I need to find a way to take time off from email, Facebook, Pinterest and now of course my new Kindle. But this has been on my list every year for three or four years so we'll see.

And that's it. I of course have professional and relationship goals but I'm still figuring those out. I hope that everyone has been as blessed as I am and if this year wasn't what you'd hoped, keep pushing and working and believing. Life has it's ebbs and flows as do years. May you find love, happiness and peace in 2012 and beyond.

Never Forget

2011-09-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

When that beautiful September morning dawned a few miles from Ground Zero, I was in Astoria Queens, still sleeping, a twenty-one year old dreamer who was enjoying a rare morning off from my waitressing gig at the Gingerman in midtown Manhattan. An aspiring actress, wide-eyed and optimistic, leaving Texas and moving to New York had been my dream since I was twelve. We had gone on a family vacation and as my cousin made his way into the city, I had fallen in love. It was everything, the Twin Towers and Lady Liberty, the lights, the energy, colors and the masses of people. It made anything seem possible. And we'd made it happen. Having finished theatre school though and seeing just how difficult a career as an actress was, I had begun to worry. It seemed I spent more time cocktailing than I did auditioning. I began to wonder if maybe sometimes dreams weren’t meant to be pursued.

Then September 11th arrived. Twin sister came into the bedroom we still shared. “A plane just struck the Twin Towers.” Everything changed. In those ensuing moments of horror and disbelief, calling friends and loved ones, to ensure they were safe (they were) it wasn’t just my innocence and naivety that was destroyed that day, it was an entire country’s. In the days and weeks following the attack, as horror and disbelief subsided, wars began brewing and the city I loved attempted to rebuild, I began to question my path. Was an artist’s life what I wanted? It was a career that was destined for uncertainty. How could I handle that in a world where fear and terror was seemingly going to be a constant part. But hearing the stories, both of the survivors and those who lost their lives that day, all of them working towards a goal, inspired me to keep fighting and pursuing mine.

Ten years later, my bar days are behind me and I no longer call New York home. The City of Angels is where I reside now. It wasn’t 9/11 that drove me away but a profound desire to tell stories, to reach people, to be a writer, an actor, a voice for others. Everyone has a calling and this was mine. Today I am lucky to be making my living as an actress and writer. Of course that young carefree girl has been replaced by a slightly more cautious but still hopeful woman. My fighting instinct has remained. My career requires it.

I have of course changed in the decade since that day. I find myself hesitating just for a moment when I board a plane, feel my breath catch when the phone rings too early or a Special Bulletin interrupts regularly scheduled programing. But it’s all out of my control. I have learned to embrace the uncertainty and live in the moment.

9/11 may have battered the city I love, a city I no longer call home but the spirit of New York lives within me. It’s a city that reminded me it is okay to dream and dream big. It is also a city that tested me and on that beautiful day in September we all endured the ultimate test, forcing not just me but everyone to evaluate what was truly important. I always think about what the people who lost their lives that day would have done if they’d known it was their last one. I try to live my life with that in mind. I'm reminded of the first time I stepped off the plane, ready to start my life in the Big Apple, and something 9/11 made all the more important. Follow your dreams. I am wise enough now to know that there’s no guarantee about how much time we get but I know for sure that making the most of it, following your heart is truly what matters.

Living La Vida Loca

2011-06-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Life is crazy which is why this blog is so late. It's even crazier that my whole family, (twin sister and Mom) are now both in LA. Everyone (well almost everyone) I love lives in LA.

And to think, just eight months ago, twin sister and I talked at Christmas about how we needed to move Mom closer to us. It seemed impossible. So many logistics to think about, the costs of moving, finding a place for her to live, doctors, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes you just have to let go of the details and try to make things happen. I don't want to get all secret-ey but when you put things out into the universe, good things can happen.

Our initial goal was Christmas 2011 and yet it's August and she's here!!! We found a temporary apartment (until January) and some of Mom's friends contributed to the moving fund. And then a kind benefactor made the ultimate happen.

Flying first class is one thing but we were lucky enough to fly elite class. A private jet to take us there and fly us all back! Twin sister and I climbed aboard a Gulf Stream to Kingsville and let me tell you, that baby flies fast. Normally, a flight to Kingsville is four or five hours but takes eight with layovers. We were there in less than 3 hours. Woo-hoo.

When we landed at the Alice air strip (Kleberg County was closed) our rental car was late but our pilots were super attentive and made sure we were taken care of (hello mini bar and Bloody Mary's) . Once the rental car arrived, we stopped off at Young's Pizza for some sustenance and then headed over to Mom's. Not surprisingly, her movers were late and Mom wasn't feeling well. While Heather supervised the final loading up, I shuttled Mom to the hotel she had booked.

Looking back, warning bells should have sounded when Mom said it was only $37.00 a night for a room at the Economy Inn. Large, loud terrifying warning bells should have gone off but I was too distracted by private jets and mini bars. It all hit me when we pulled up to the roach motel. I remembered the images from Pyscho. The rooms were dirty and musty. The air conditioner barely worked and it looked like an ideal location for drug deals or other Breaking Bad encounters. Luckily, Mom's friend Bev showed up and voiced what I was thinking. "Your Mom can't stay here." I agreed and we headed over to the Best Western, one of Kingsville's nicer establishments. While Heather and I showered and got ready to go out for dinner, Mom settled in and visited with her friends who'd stopped by to say farewell.

Our BFF from high school, Angela drove down from Houston and after dropping off her adorable brood, we met up with Chapa, another high school pal and spent the next seven hours laughing, talking and reminiscing.

After several margaritas, beers, and wine, we collapsed and woke up the following morning, ready to say good-bye to Kingsville and our hometown. We dined at Yen Ching, still my favorite Chinese restaurant ever and said good-bye to our friends. Then we climbed aboard the jet again,this time with Mom in tow. At 2pm we were wheels up. We left South Texas, rose high above the blue skies and endless clouds and brought our mother back to her new home.

For years, Mom has sacrificed to help make my dreams (and twin sister's) possible and now we're able to (at least in part) repay the favor. I'm grateful for so many things in my life, but having our whole family in the same city is something I wasn't quite sure would ever happen. I know that life has its ups and downs but these are the moments that make me truly grateful for all the blessings I have in my life. I wish the same for everyone.

Texas Bound

2011-06-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

So many amazing things are happening right now which of course means that this blog gets neglected. I will hopefully catch up soon but I'm preparing tonight to head back to Texas to help escort my wonderful mother back to LA.

If you know me, you know how much I love my Mom. If you don't, read through this blog and you'll understand. The only reason I've had the courage to pursue an uncertain path is because of her unwavering support. If you had told me a few years or even months ago that in less than forty eight hours, we'd be able to move her out here, I'd have said you were crazy. But God works in mysterious ways. We're flying out tomorrow in true first class style and will be setting Mom up in her new condo in LA next week. Twin sister and I are so excited to have the whole family together again. We'll be able to celebrate big and small events and even just get together for the premiere of one our favorite TV shows.

It may be my last time back in Kingsville, Texas, my hometown and there's a part of me that's surprised by how sad I feel. As much as I wanted to escape small town life, Kingsville was a great place to grow up and it will be strange to not having a reason to go back. But in the end, home is where your family is and our family will now be here in Hollywood. I'll post my photos and share about my trip because it's also a reunion of sorts between my nearest and dearest friends. Life can truly surprise you and I am just so grateful for that this is actually happening.

The Redhead Effect

2011-04-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

I have written numerous blogs, celebrating my own successes and disappointments but none to this day have been more popular than my blog about being a redhead.

I’ve had random readers who found this blog simply by Googling redheads. Many people have posted comments. Of course there have been a few crazies.

This one’s my favorite.

“You’re just jealous because us gingers don't have a soul. No soul, no pain, no heartbreak, no remorse. In fact, the ONLY thing we feel is hate.”

Obviously someone's still working through their redhead issues.

But there were so many other red heads who share my ginger pride.

Anonymous said…

“I am a redhead, and although I have received tremendous amounts of teasing through out my 17 years, I know I was made unique! I like to think God can see my bright red hair moving amongst the sea of brown, black and blonde hair all over this world. Thank you for your blog!"

True Patriot said...

"As a kid, I heard the "hey carrot top" all the time. Then it was "Is your hair that color all over your body?" My reply: "I dye both ends to keep idiots like you guessing." Until this "Kick a Ginger Day" garbage, I'd been happy as a red-head since adulthood. I am still happy & proud to be a red-head, but hope those of us that are still young find strength & courage. Kids (of all ages) can be rude and cruel. Hang in there! You're unique!"

Hannah said...

"Love it! I think redheads are beautiful!"

I agree, Hannah. But sadly there are those who don't recognize our uniqueness. And this is about more than a South Park episode or even a group of kids teasing each other. This is about life and death. Bullying is real and it’s costing kids their lives. I read in the news today about Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz, two Minnesota teens, only fourteen years old who killed themselves. They left notes and the girls parents have discussed the bullying they endured because of Facebook and texts. Haylee had apparently complained to relatives about being teased because of her red hair and weight problem. Of course it could have been more than just her hair color or her weight or the fact that sometimes going to school and coping with the teasing seemed so overwhelming. My heart broke for both girls. I know that feeling.

Twin sister and I had each other so we were lucky enough to share in the bullying (when we weren't being utterly and totally ignored). The boys in eighth grade math class teased and taunted us, about being rich (we weren't) about being fat (we were) or just about being (we were quiet AND smart). We were able to subvert the teasing sometimes because we were already actors in training and learned the power of crocodile tears and how quickly teachers responded to them. It didn't make it easier.

We had only one friend in eighth grade after being abandoned by all our one time close friends to become cheerleaders or jocks or "friends" with the opposite sex." As the nerdy twin redheads who played trombone and flute respectively, we weren't exactly upping anyone's popularity quotient. We dreaded high school, four years of hell looming ahead when fate smiled upon us. A new high school opened, a chance to start over, redefine ourselves, discover hidden talents and find out who we were without being judged. We got lucky.

Of course in my day (way back when) there wasn't Facebook or Twitter, blogs or texts. There weren't daily humiliations recorded and uploaded to YouTube. I don't know how you find the strength to endure that type of humilation and I'll be honest, I'm glad I never had to find out. It's why my heart aches for those two girls and all the others who feel like this is the only choice. I don't know what Haylee or Paige went through in the days, weeks and months leading up to their deaths but I know one thing. There are other choices. If anyone (redhead or not) has found their way here, please hear me. There is help. Tell a parent, a trusted family member, a counselor, call a hotline or support group. Don't hurt your family, your friends or yourself. Don't give the bullies and the cowards the power to destroy your life. They truly are not worth it.

And you know what? It WILL get better. You will not always be awkward and pimply. Your red hair will not always be frizzy or freakish. In fact some people will actually seek you out simply because of it.

You will not always be the low person on the totem pole. Someday you could be the college debate star, the musical whiz, the Emmy winner, the Oscar winner, you could be anything you set your mind to because while the other "cool" kids were busy teasing and taunting,you were busy studying and dreaming, plotting and planning and working towards a future they could never even begin to imagine. It will get better. Have faith and keep fighting.

The Killing.

2011-04-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly ahead of the zeitgeist to say that The Killing is one of the best new dramas on TV. But it's most definitely a cable drama. By that I mean, it's a slow burn. The story unfolds in real time, piece by piece, moment by moment.

What's so brilliant about The Killing ? I love the actors, the setting, the room the writers give their characters to breathe, letting the story unfold without car chases or explosions. But what has really captivated me is the emotional truth of each episode.

I suppose if you've never experienced a sudden loss of a loved one, not a grandparent or an older family member but someone younger, you may not quite get it. Watching Rosie's parents grieve over their loss of their daughter, a sudden tragic death, I'm reminded over and over again of the loss of one of my best friend's Diane.

Diane was the unexpected friend who came along at a time when I needed someone to make me laugh, to pick me up and inspire me to pursue my dreams. Diane was the 'make dinner and watch Alias' friend. The 'travel to Puerto Rico on a whim and explore the rain forests' friend. She was the 'You're in a terrible play no one should have to sit through but I'm going to clap and cheer' kind of friend. She was the 'I'll dance on the tables and drink Cristal for your birthday' friend. Diane was the 'it's 5am and your dad just died and I'm going to hold you while you cry then give you Tylenol PM, force you into bed and cook a feast of comfort food' kind of friend. In fact, she was more than a friend. She was family.

Diane wasn't a victim of a violent crime but her death was just as sudden and unexpected. I never truly learned what happened but it didn't matter. Whatever the cause, the heartbreak's the same. One week before she died we were dining together in midtown, sipping champagne downtown, celebrating a new year and new possibilities and the next thing I knew her father was on the other line telling me she was gone. Dead.

One minute we were on the phone while she gave me notes on my first short story, telling me I was a gifted writer, as we discussed future collaborations and the next I was standing at La Guardia airport beside her father, her ashes tucked away in a small knapsack. One minute I was laughing at her crazy impersonations and the next I was filing onto an airplane to Texas for her memorial service, wondering how it was possible to be standing upright when my heart was breaking into pieces.

Watching Rosie's parents, Stan and Mitch (two brilliant actors, Michelle Forbes and Brent Sexton) look at caskets, and pick out clothing reminds me of those painful days after Diane died. The memorial service was awful to say the least. Twin sister and I managed to hold it together long enough to do a reading. The rest was a blur. Dinners, greeting and reminiscing with strangers she'd known, comforting her devastated parents. But it was the days after, when we accompanied her parents to her Queens studio and proceeded to go through Diane's apartment, piece by piece, memory by memory. Every belonging sorted and catalgoued, a favorite scarf, a beloved book, a CD played over and over. Her parents gave us anything we wanted and we took it all, an entire pick-up truck we had to rent to get it home. Some of it we truly wanted but even the stuff we would later donate, we kept. We wanted and needed anything to keep her close.

When Mitch plays Rosie's last voicemail, my heart ached for her. Diane's parents kept her cell phone on for almost a year after she died and I checked it every day until they turned off. I wanted to hear Diane's sassy greeting "You've reached the voicemail of the utterly fabulous Diane Gonzales," but even then it wasn't enough.

Anyone who's ever lost someone knows that no matter what you do to ease the pain, the only thing that helps is time. The pain dulls but you never truly stop missing them. You're never truly the same. It's been years since she died and I still miss her. But I know she's looking down, totally proud of times I've kicked some ass in my pursuits and lifting me up and encouraging me when I'm getting my ass kicked.

It's funny that I still love The Killing. Maybe it's the writer in me who revels in the morbidity and darkness that permeates most of my stories. Maybe it's the power of a story that doesn't need flash and frills. Despite the grimness of the show, it's a journey I'm enjoying. Even when it brings up painful memories from the past, it reminds me of someone I loved with all my heart.

Good News on the Writing Front

2011-04-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

Just learned today that I was accepted into the Producers Guild of America's "The Power of Diversity" Workshop .

The application process was in-depth to say the least. It required a 5-6 page treatment, a pilot synopsis and an artist's statement. The second step was a final interview in front of a panel of producers on the Diversity committee. All quite nerve wracking but luckily (hooray) I made the cut. I'm incredibly excited that they accepted as this script is something I'm passionate about. Not sure what to expect but judging from past workshop speakers including Marshall Herskovitz (Defiance, Blood Diamond, The Last Samurai) Damon Lindelof (Lost, Star Trek) and Mark Gordon (Grey's Anatomy, Saving Private Ryan, 2012) I'll be learning from the best in the business. Looking forward to continuing to grow as a writer and hopefully one day, a full fledged producer.

Nuclear Post-Show Update and Other Musings

2011-03-24T00:15:00.001-07:00

Okay, I don't typically mind Monday's since I work from home but seeing as I spent the entire weekend in bed with a cold, I'm a little less than thrilled to see a new week start so soon. But considering I managed to tackle everything on today's to-do-list, I'm going to consider it a success. Before I crawl back into bed, here's my review of Nuclear Family.

Imagine 200 wigs, four chairs, no script and a packed audience (well as packed as the Groundlings theatre can be). For me, this would be a nightmare. But for the cast of Nuclear Family, it was a piece of cake. This was hands-down one of the funniest shows I've seen in recent memory.

Starring Stephen Guarino, Jimmy Ray Bennett and John Gregario, this improvised musical, yes that's right IMPROVISED MUSCIAL began with suggestions from the audience about what characters to play. The Frankenhammer family would consist of the mother, Celeste Gregario) the daughter, Betsy (Bennett) and the son, Jimmy (Guarino). While these were the central characters, each of these actors played other supporting characters, using new wigs to establish different roles. The songs were hysterical; broad ballads, campy upbeat numbers, some ballet and modern dance and as they lovingly mocked the musical theater genre. These actors have been performing together for years and their chemistry and inclination to one up each other in the improv made it even funnier. I heard someone in the audience say she'd seen them perform at least fifteen times and still kept coming back. I hope they make a West Coast return because they have made a groupie out of me.

On the ole acting front, I didn't get a third audition for the pilot but it's a victory nonetheless. At least for me it is! I had a pre-read for a drama pilot but that role went to a girl on Maxim's Hot 100. Can't compete with that now can I?

I had an audition last week for a film. It was an amazing role, the lead in a feature. The best part- I was playing a teenager. No really! Twin sister has said many times that there's no way in hell I could play high school so it was a confidence boost to get called for something THAT young. I keep hoping I'll book one of those roles so I can prove her wrong.

Anyway, I thought I'd sit in the waiting room feeling out of place and ancient but I felt like I fit right in. That's acting isn't it. It was great because the role was younger than me, so I didn't worry or obsess about whether I'd get it. I just went and had fun. I wished I could do that with every audition. It really does make the process a lot more enjoyable. I'm almost certain the role will go to some up and coming starlet but it's not often that you get a chance to work on such good material. It was nice to have a meaty role to sink my teeth in, even if it was just for an audition.

I'm enjoying all these opportunities to do what I love and looking forward to seeing what this year will bring.

Monday Nights Laughs

2011-03-21T17:00:00.001-07:00

Heading out tonight to see Nuclear Family at the world famous Groundlings theater. Phil Hartman, Paul Ruebens, Kristen Wiig are just a few of the stars who've been discovered at the Groundlings and since I live only a few blocks from the theater, I find myself going often.

Tonight, Nuclear Family, a completely improvised 90 minute musical which was a hit Off-Broadway in New York is playing two almost sold-out shows here in LA. Twin sister saw it almost two years ago when they performed it here and couldn't stop talking about it. Even if I hadn't wanted to go, she'd have drug me there. Seriously though it looks amazing and I'm sure it'll be a great night of laughs. Check it out if you're local or check back here to get my review on this one of a kind theatrical, comedy experience.

A Very Good Day

2011-03-03T01:04:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog, I was an actor who wrote (in secret, by candlelight). Then I became a writer who acts. Now I'm confident enough to say I'm both. My worries when discussing my acting aren't unfounded. As I've mentioned before, there's a distinct line between actors and writers, a bit of a prejudice even. I was worried that people in the writing world would think I'm not committed to my writing. I worried that if casting directors knew I was a writer, they'd think I wasn't committed to my craft. But you know what? I'm done worrying. I love both. I believe with everything within me, that I have a talent for both. So I'm not going to choose. Not yet. If I'm lucky, there will of course come a time when I have to make a decision. But for now, I feel blessed that I get to express myself creatively in various ways.

I wanted to write about this week because it has been a truly great week. In this town, it's important to celebrate the victories. It's getting that first agent or manager, that first real audition, first trip to a studio lot, first trip to wardrobe, the first check ever cashed as an actor. There are so many ups and downs, disappointment's and failures that the victories must be celebrated. This week I had plenty to celebrate. I got my first pilot audition.

Not only that but it was for a series regular, one of the leads in a new sitcom. It was a great part and to say I was excited was an understatement. I have been in this town awhile now and I have worked really hard but getting these kinds of breaks just doesn't always happen. Then my acting took a backseat to writing and I was so lucky to have those opportunities. But when I wasn't staffed, I realized there was no reason not to dive back into the acting pool. I was lucky to find an amazing manager who has consistently gotten me auditions for amazing roles.

Anyway, back to the pilot audition. It was a pre-read at Sony Studios and after going to a wonderful coach, (best money you can spend) I felt really prepared. I made my way back over the hill to Sony. I had never been to that studio so it was fun wandering around the lot. I went in, did what I'd prepared, took the adjustment from the associate and left. I promptly forgot about it (the best way to leave an audition) because hello, it's a series regular role on a network pilot. What are the odds that I'd get any further than that? It was awesome enough just to get to pre-read.

When my phone rang at 8pm with a call from my manager, I was ecstatic. It was a callback. For producers. For a network pilot. I got more coaching, went over to Warner Brothers, where I auditioned across the street from my old office at WB, and I left feeling happier and prouder of myself than I have in a long time. I went in and I did my best. Did I get the part? Will I get a second audition? Probably not. My phone hasn't rung yet but honestly, this time, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that at least for now, this is enough.

Don't get me wrong. I'd be jumping up and down, both screaming and peeing myself with excitement if I had made it to a network or studio test but I know how huge it is to get a callback on my first ever pilot audition. It gives me the courage to keep on trucking. It proves to my manager she made the right choice taking me on. It makes me realize that the doubtful voice I sometimes hear when my Texas friends are buying their second homes or going on elaborate vacations is stupid and unsupportive and I should never ever listen to it.

I write on my blog all the time about not giving up all the time because I know actors and writers are occasionally kind enough to stop by and read it. You know that this is not an easy career. No one owes you anything. No matter what you've done, you will always have to keep working and fighting and believing in yourself. Write, act, direct, enter contests, submit online, send hard copies and never ever stop doing what you love! I don't know what lays ahead. II have tons of stories to tell. there are roles I would kill to play. Why can't I have it all? I know too that I'm not quitting. Tomorrow and the day after and the day after will always have their challenges and I will most likely come home and grumble about it with the Brit and twin sister over a glass of Velvet Moon. But not today. Definitely not today.

Keeping On...

2011-02-16T00:17:00.000-08:00

So excited that my pilot "Bad Habits" was selected as the grand prize winner for TV pilots in this year's 2010 Scriptapalooza TV Writing Contest. This script is something I'm really proud of.

Over 410 people entered the pilot contest and I know how hard each and every one of them worked and I hope everyone whether they were a finalist, semi-finalist, or simply had the determination and courage to finish a script and enter it keeps on doing what they love. I know I will...

Farewell FNL

2011-02-09T22:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes TV is more than just TV. It's an experience, visceral and raw, a reflection of who you are, of where you come from, of the best moments in your life and even the worst. When it's good, it reaches through the screen and into your heart and soul. Friday Night Lights did that tonight. My heart is still heavy.

When FNL premiered in 2006, I steadfastly boycotted it. I grew up in a Texas town that looked a lot like Dillon. I purposely went to a high school WITHOUT football and left Texas in my rear view mirror shortly after graduation. The last thing I wanted to do (or so I thought) was relive my past. But Texas is hard to shake. It's not just a state, it's a state of mind. A place and people that stay with you, its memories, its experiences helping to form who you are.

My relationship with FNL certainly wasn't love at first sight. The show had already finished its first season when overcome with boredom, during a long lonely summer I began surfing NBC's website, looking for something to watch. They were streaming the first season (pre-Netflix y'all). I told myself I'd watch the first episode and figure out something better to do with my weekend. Seven hours later, I was hooked, desperate to see more. I was like an addict, making excuses and turning down invititations so I could get my FNL fix.

By the season finale, I was officially obsessed. I badgered Twin Sister for six months before I finally got her hooked. Mom took a little more convincing. I bought her the DVD for Christmas and four months later, she called me, apologetic. She couldn't believe it had taken her that long. She too was officially in love. Some called it a soap and the non-traditional filming scared off the masses but if you gave it a shot, you saw stories about friendships and rivalries, about broken dreams and lost loves. A show that took something as simple and primitive as the desire to win and lose, the desire to belong and made it about so much more.

When the show was in jeopardy, I wrote emails and signed petitions. I donated money to send footballs to NBC and I hoped that this little show about Texas football would live on. When NBC and DirectTV made a deal to share the costs, I cheered, sending mass emails to friends and families as if I had something invested in its survival. The move to Direct TV may have limited its reach to a larger audience but it certainly didn't limit its creative scope.

It stumbled once or twice in season two(the dreaded Landry/Tyra debacle) but roared back at the end. FNL lost most of its lead cast in its third season. I was skeptical when I heard my beloved characters weren't coming back. How could they pull it off? Amazingly, Jason Katims and his talented team of writers created a whole new cast that I loved just as much, if not more.

And then there was my own FNL script, a spec I wrote out of love and admiration for the show. I had been writing features for awhile when a writing mentor suggested I give TV a try. I enrolled in a How to Write a TV Outline Class at UCLA Extension (seriously, the best $500 I've ever spent) and had to choose what spec to write. It was a toss up between Dexter and FNL but my amazing instructor sensed my love of FNL and steered me towards it. A year and a half later, I pulled onto the lot at Warner Brothers to begin the Writing Workshop. It isn't (at least to me) a coincidence that somehow Texas would play a part in helping make my dreams come true.

But I digress. The series finale was pitch perfect. Written by Jason Katims, it was, quite simply brillant. In the end, it was of course less a show about football and more about the people the game brings together. If it's wrong how much I cried in the last hour and ten minutes, well, I don't want to be right. These characters were more than just characters, they were family members, neighbors, friends, and classmates. They were the girls I hated and yet longed to be. The were the boys I crushed on, boys with limitless potential who threw it away and the ones who like me left Texas without ever looking back. I'm not going to summarize this last episode. I won't deny anyone the magic of this moment. I hope that years from now, I'll meet others who've been inspired to check it out, rent it, stream it, maybe even (GASP) buy it. If you're a TV fan, this is truly a must see.

But now we've come to the end. It's been an amazing run for a show no one watched. I'm going to miss them all. Smash and Jason, Riggins and Tyra, Lyla and Buddy (and Buddy Jr.how little we knew thee) Billy and Mindy, Saracen and Julie, Landry and Tinker, Luke and Becky, Vince and Jess.

But most of all, I'm going to miss Coach and Tami.

One of the best TV couples to ever grace the small screen, they showed us what love really is, flawed and fearless, filled with ups and downs, challenges and comprises, lots of wine and laughter and because it's Texas, a whole lotta football. They made us root for wins on and off the field, made us question our own values, honor and integrity, loyalty and faith. They made us believe.

It may sound corny but life just won't be the same without FNL. So long Dillon. We'll miss you more than you know.

"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose."

TEXAS FOREVER

Still Here

2011-01-28T00:56:00.000-08:00

If you're an actor, a writer, a dancer, a singer or anyone with a dream and you've stumbled upon my blog, I could offer lots of advice. Take classes, read scripts, study with the right teachers, network, blah, blah, blah but that's just obvious. The only advice that I live and die by is this...

Don't.Give.Up.

This short's dedicated to my mom, a woman who sacrificed so much for my sister and I to follow our dreams. And it reminded me that doing what you love is sometimes enough. And if you keep at it and you're lucky, good things will happen. I hope you enjoy it and I hope there's more projects to come.

New Work in the New Year

2011-01-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

Check out a few sneak preview stills from my latest project. I'll post more about it later but for now, enjoy the pics taken by my amazing DP and incredible photographer Hopper Stone.

Happy 2011

2011-01-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

"A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within.”

2011... You're like a newborn baby, cooing, gurgling, drawing us all in with your innocence and limitless possibilities for a future.

No doubt, you'll grow cranky and fussy and I'll contemplate whether it was all an act but for now I'm going to embrace you fully. It's a New Year and new possibilities abound. No resolutions this year, (or any that I intend to share because they're too boring and obvious) but I am resolved to keep on keeping on. Working towards being the best writer, actor and human being I can. Like 2011, I too am a work in progress. Cheers and may this year bring love, laughter joy and all the success you desire.

Holiday Musings

2010-12-14T01:49:00.000-08:00

I've neglected my blog terribly but it's just bad form to apologize yet again for my absence so I won't. The masses haven't staged a riot demanding a response but I wanted to check in.

Life is good. Still living with the Brit and twin sister, our own little dramedy occurring daily. She cooks all the time which makes both me and the Brit really lucky. But he's truly an understanding man, dealing with twins. It's a hell of a lot less glamorous than one might think.

I am still creating, doing my best to keep my eye on the prize, whatever that is. I'm directing a short film, something I'm really proud of, a tribute to someone incredibly special to me. It's still a work in progress so I won't say much. There's things I hope it will do for me but whether it happens or not, I'm loving the creative outlet it's providing.

I'm auditioning again and the excitement of each time my manager calls and I get to audition outweighs the crushing disappointment when the phone doesn't ring. It's still there but I try to drown my sorrows in my latest script or Trader Joe's Cab, depending on the role and my connection to it. It's taken me awhile to have the courage to talk about acting again, which is weird because it's not THAT kind of acting.

I think I've been worried that people won't take me seriously as a writer, that they won't understand how committed I am to my writing. There is a serious prejudice against actors. But acting is part of me and so is writing and I intend to embrace them both, until I have to choose (again). The minute someone offers me a writing job I'll bid acting sayanora. And vice versa. But neither one of them will ever be out of my life for good, that I know.

The writing is good. Even great on some days. I've written two things this year that I'm truly proud of. One was ambitious, a sci-fi sort of dramedy, an entertaining story with issues I'm still working out. The other, I think is my best writing yet though it may not play that well in the Bible belt. Whether either one is something Hollywood will scoop up remains to be seen. I'm not great at knowing "commercial." I generally just write what I like. I also have several new scripts in the cooker and a whole lot of down time for the holidays so I'm hoping in the next two months to have another few completed scripts.

I don't have a steady day job which is at times both freeing and terrifying. I'm not lucky enough to have a trust fund but I've been careful and I do a lot of freelance writing work. Some of it is referrals, some of it I find on my own but I enjoy it because I'm constantly utilizing the same writing skills I've used to write scripts. Even if I'm writing a blog or press release, I'm colloborating, there's an audience, an objective. I think it's only helping me grow as a writer.

Now the year's almost over. In the career world, it's been a smaller year, less obvious victories to celebrate but I'm grateful. Grateful for residuals. Grateful for the people in my life, old and new friends. Grateful for travels and adventures I've had. I'm grateful for the freedom and time I've had to explore whims, avoid convention and continue following this crazy path. It's not always (ever?) easy but it's the only thing I know. I look forward to next year, to seeing where my creative muse takes me. If you're a faithful blog reader, or have just stopped by to check in, I hope you'll stop back by and see what's shaking in the New Year.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

Hope you had a Spooktacular Holiday!

Hodge Podge

2010-10-07T01:19:00.000-07:00

Today's post has no real thesis and I'm not even going to apologize for that.

My monologue for Showbizzle was a winner so if you voted, than thank you. If you didn't, that's okay. I still won! :)

I've been M.I.A. for a lot of reasons. One is that I'm still writing. Not just screenplays but marketing materials, blogs, essays and anything else people will pay me for. There's some power in owning the fact that I.am.a.writer. I'm not getting rich and it's not as glamorous (from the outside anyway) as writing screenplays or TV scripts but it's writing. Each time I sit down at the computer, I know that I'm creating something and even if it doesn't have my name on it, I take pride in the fact that my words are being read, that people are paying me to tell stories, entertain and educate. But what's great about writing different things is that I continue to learn lessons that I take into all areas of my writing.

Recently I was offered a writing job that I didn't really want. Or I didn't want it once I started working on it. It was sales type writing and I struggled with it. For an article that was 250 words, it took me more than 2.5 hours. It was not cost effective and when I turned it in, my gut instinct said, this isn't it. The client agreed and I rewrote it but it was decided that I wasn't the right wordsmith to take on that particular project. I think in the past this might have upset me. I would have given myself forty lashes or wondered if I simply wasn't good enough. But sometimes, we just have to accept that we can't do everything. I'll probably never write a laugh out loud comedy like the Hangover. I'd love to write that but that's not my gift. And that's okay. I'll write something just as kick ass in the genre that I do well.

I think that's the best thing about a writer's journey. We learn something every single day. Of course, you must write every day. Okay, maybe not 7 days a week but at least five. You must sit down and just write. I procrastinate a lot. I Facebook and read blogs and check my bank account and call my mom and clean my dishes and then finally, when I've run out of tasks to do, I sit down and I write. Sometimes it's brilliant and other times it's crap but I can't control that. I simply have to put words onto the page and trust that with enough work (and believe me, it's work) that I've created something great.

Right now I just finished a new script that I'm incredibly proud of. I have no idea what will happen to it. I hope people feel the passion and emotion that I felt when I wrote it but I can't predict that. All I can do is write what I love.

I went to Idyllwild a few weeks ago with some girlfriends. We weren't allowed cell phones or laptops or any technological devices. It was a way to center ourselves and escape the pressures of this city. My friend organized it because she felt overwhelmed by LA and "the business" made a no discussing business rule. I agreed wholeheartedly because I too felt a little tired of the what do you do mentality that consumes LA. After all, I'm a fully formed person and not defined by my job. Right? We hiked and drank and dined and mediated and enjoyed nature. I didn't actually miss my cell phone or my laptop and we didn't speak for a full eight hours which I found exhilarating. But what I realized was that no matter how far I travel, whether I have a cell phone, laptop or simply a notebook and a piece of paper or my own inner thoughts to keep me company, being a writer isn't a job, it's who I am. I love analyzing people and characters. I love listening to strangers on a train and imaging what happens when they get off at the next stop. I love hearing someones life story and putting it in my idea file for future reference. I love sitting down at a computer and typing for hours and hours on end and rereading something and knowing deep down that this is a story people will want to read or hear or watch.

So that's what I've been up to. Self-discovery and reflection, writing and creating, working and preparing. There's no big news to share right now and that's okay. I'm trying to let go of the need to always have something to celebrate and be okay in the moment, in the journey.

I spent the last weekend hanging with a friend who was visiting. We met back in theater school when twin sister and I were struggling to survive New York City. She was such an awesome person and we recently reconnected. I hadn't seen her in years but it was like we hadn't missed a beat. Tomorrow I'm off to Texas to celebrate the birth of one of my favorite people, a high school friend. She's someone who makes me laugh more than anyone I know. I feel blessed to have these ladies in my life, who continue to encourage me even when sometimes my life's path feels uncertain.

Finally, if you're a screenwriting fan, stay tuned. I'll be posting a fun interview with a screenwriting guru that will discuss the all important topic of ideas, copyright and whether your idea needs protection. Thanks for checking in.

A Vote for Me Is...Well a Vote for Me.

2010-08-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

Friends, fans and those odd ducks with redhead fetishes, I'm seeking your help and support. I'm in in the running to be America's Next Top..whoops, wrong contest.

Let me start over. I'm in the running to be named Showbizzle's Favorite Writer. Or at least that's what I'm calling it. I submitted a couple of monologues to the Showbizzle Writers Search and two were selected. Woo-hoo! And yes, my contest obession continues. So what the heck's a Showbizzle? I'm glad you asked.

Showbizzle is an entertainment site with an ongoing web series Janey's World that was created by Charles Rosin, Executive Producer of 90210, the original 90210. He gave us Kelly and Dylan people. He created Showbizzle along with his daughter Lindsay Rosin, a screenwriter as well, to give writers, actors and directors, both newbies and experienced artists an outlet away from the studio system. Part on-going series and part informative videos about breaking into Hollywood, Showbizzle is attempting to become relevant in the wild wild west that is the internet. I love being part of something new and innovative. So here's the 411 for those of you who kept reading after realizing there would be no naked redheads here.

Go to Showbizzle Writer's Search and then search for my monologues. I have two monologues, one on the first page and one on the second. You have to actually create a username and password. I know, I know. You don't want to get spammed. But I promise they send very few emails. It takes five seconds and then you view my monologues and simply click "I Like This." Vote for one or both but you only get one vote per monologue, so be generous and vote twice! Voting ends on August 23rd so do it now before time runs out.

I believe in always putting myself out there (NOT in that way redhead lovers) and exploring every avenue. Being between writing gigs now, I just want to keep creating. This was a fun experience I would truly love your support.

Thanks so much.

Write On

2010-08-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

As a writer, I'm constantly learning. I think the best writers or the ones that strive to be the best are the ones who think they're great but know they could be better. While I'm proud of everything I've written, (well almost everything) I think my current work is better. I've grown and so has my writing.

But I still seek out new tools that will help me continue on an upward path. I've taken writing classes, I read blogs and try to read least three screenplays a week. It makes me understand what's out there, what people are buying and whether my work matches up (sometimes yes and sometimes no.) I don't read a lot of screenplay books now but when I first got the TV itch, they were invaluable. I picked up Crafty TV Writing by Alex Epstein and thought it was really helpful with basic and practical advice. Pamela Douglas' book Writing the TV Drama was a much appreciated Christmas present but most of what I learned was through trial and error. Reading other scripts, taking UCLA extension classes and getting notes from my trusted group of readers.

But I recently read Richard Walter's Essentials of Screenwriting and I think anyone who is considering screenwriting, whether it's TV or feature film or both, should have this on their shelves. Mr. Walter is a professor and the Sreenwriting Chairman at UCLA's prestigious film school. He's also a writer himself.

His book is a mix of facts and observations culled from many years teaching writers, in Hollywood, on how to craft a masterful screenplay. He incorporates stories from his own time in the Hollywood trenches and anecdotes about the writers he's taught and how they've gone on to break in. He talks about the art of screenwrting, techniques, do's and don'ts and some great business info that I myself found useful. The book doesn't deliver step by step methods to writing a screeplay. It's not Save the Cat. But it's still very informative.

While some of the information I already knew, it was still an entertaining read and a good reminder that one thing is always true. Write great scripts and people will read them. Who are those people? I don't know. Maybe it's a network of contacts you've developed, a contest you've won, a manager you queried or a writer friend who mentored you and can't wait to submit your script to his agent. There's no book that can give you that information. And of course there's no timeline, no way to know that this is the script that will change your life. You just have to keep doing it. And while that's easier said than done, it happens every single day in this town.

Gene Fowler once said, "Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.” Truer words were never spoken. People often say how they want to write, that they have this great idea or they always thought they could write a movie. Not everyone (at least outside of Hollywood) actually tries it. The people that do sometimes write one script and think it's a masterpiece. When nothing happens, they give up, saying it wasn't meant to be. Mr. Walter truly gets the sacrifice, the difficulty but his advice is one I can totally relate to.

My favorite chapter deals with Craft and Writing Habits and what he said about having an enduring career really resonated.

"The ticket for sustaining a career is speculative, self-motivated writing. When they're busy with their writing, there's no time to bemoan their fate, to feel sorry for themselves, to wallow in self-pity, to contemplate self-destruction, to contemplate destruction of studios and studio bosses and studio bosses' nannies. A winning writer's winning attitude is WRITE ON!"

I love this. It's my motto and I think Mr. Walter sums it up beautifully. Writers write whether the checks are coming or not. It's what we do. I do not know what my own future holds but I know without a doubt I'll keep on writing. And I hope that anyone who's thinking about screenwriting picks up this lovely, entertaining and truly informative book. You won't be sorry.

Lovestruck

2010-07-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of falling in love. It was only supposed to be temporary, a brief stopover before he found a true home. I should have known better. When Skip came into my life, I was feeling uncertain and unsettled with the path that I'm on. His exuberance for life and ability to make even the simplest things seem exciting set me back on track. Having to live by his schedule rekindled a routine and he loves sitting by my side as I type away. And slowly but surely, I've fallen in love. Yes, I knew our landlord's no pet policy. Besides he was just a foster. I left for my trip, hoping he'd be gone, off to a new home so I wouldn't have to spend more time with him. But nope, he was still here, looking adorable and manipulating me with those eyes and that wagging tail that got excited just when I walked into the room. I had the Brit make a phone call to see if we could keep him, hoping that British accent might sway her but our landlords heart was hardened. It was no go for Skip at Casa Overton.

This week, one of Twin Sister's co-workers officially adopted him. The organization Dogs Without Borders we've been working with requires a home visit so we have him for a few more days. I was both happy and sad. The longer he stays, the harder it is to say good-bye. Last week, there were lots of tears but this week, I'm resolved. He's not destined to be mine but he's been an amazing source of comfort and entertainment. And I know that he'll bring the same to his forever home.

If you're in LA and interested in fostering or adopting a dog, be sure to check out Dogs Without Borders. Save a pup just like Skip.

From Bosnia with Love

2010-06-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Last year at this time, I was sitting in my office at Warner Brothers, pitching stories for the new season of Cold Case. It was something I had never envisioned, couldn’t quite believe…a dream come true. I had no idea where it would lead me to or if it would lead anywhere. Where I’ve ended up has been almost as surprising.

As we speak, I’m writing this from a town called Gravacec in a remote area of Bosnia. Yes, you read that right. I’m in Bosnia working with a non-profit called Genesis Sarajevo. I’m writing, researching and hopefully helping create awareness about the amazing work my friend Amy is doing. Four years ago, she founded, Genesis, a program that’s designed to bring dance to this impoverished country. Each summer and winter, she holds workshops that teach children (and sometimes adults) dance, ranging from ballet to hip hop to Latin. The war in Bosnia ended almost 14 years ago but the country is still recovering. Sarajevo has some ballet programs but the arts are the last thing on people’s minds. Every conversation is littered with the phrases “before the war” and “after the war.” Still, there’s nothing more inspiring than watching these kids faces light up when they begin to perform.

For the two people who read my blog and have followed my journey as an actress and writer in Hollywood, you know that it’s never been an easy path to walk. You live with the highest highs and lowest lows. You struggle along, praying for a break and even when you get one, you need another two or three to keep you going.

For me, all I ever wanted was to tell stories. But the last two years were so consumed with writing something perfect, getting a job and working for the next one that I felt like I lost a sense of who I was and the stories I wanted to tell. It became about writing for the market, writing commercially and writing for others. I stopped listening to my heart and writing became this thing I feared. Don’t get me wrong. If someone pays me to write Hannah Montana, I’m doing it. I can do it. I just forgot what compelled me to start writing in the first place.

Not getting staffed this season has been disappointing and while there are many reasons why it didn’t happen, I cannot help feel that this was destiny. Destiny that I should be sitting in a small hotel thousands of miles away from Los Angeles, listening to the rain fall outside my window. It is destiny that I get to watch these children ranging from six to fourteen who have never ever taken a dance class suddenly light up as music ranging from Miley Cyrus to Nine Inch Nails begins to play. Music is universal. Dance is universal. Stories are universal. I always knew there was a story I wanted to tell about this place. I knew I had to come here to make sure that story wasn’t some Hollywood writers fantasy but true to the experiences of the Bosnian people. Each day I’m here, I find I’m learning new things, discovering new people and exploring a culture that is so different from my own. Our country fights a war against an unknown enemy millions of miles away in Iraq and Afghanistan. The war rarely affects us, simply another news story on the CNN ticker. In Bosnia, the enemy was neighbors, friends, cousins, battling against each other. The devastation is still evident but their sprit remains strong.

More to come about this amazing experience...

Sarajevo or Bust

2010-06-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

It's no surprise to anyone (or the one) person who reads this blog that last year was both awesome and disappointing. Big ups and big downs go hand in hand I suppose. I'm not staffed and I can say I honestly don't know what the future holds. I guess I never did though it feels truer and truer these days. This is not a unique situation for any newbie staff writer and I know plenty of other people in my same predicament.

But this is my reality and I'm trying my best to fully embrace the uncertainty. This year, I'm rebooting, writing more and trying to figure out my place, my destiny and my path.

Hollywood doesn't make it easy, no matter what level you're at. Even when you get your first break, you still need a second and third. I know it comes down to constantly reworking, reinventing and never hoping opportunities just appear. While I've definitely had my share of why didn't I go to law school/business school/veterinarian school/ there is one constant that has never changed, my love of telling stories. Which is why on Friday, I'll be heading off to Bosnia, Sarajevo to be exact. My friend Amy Danielson runs a non-profit called Genesis Sarajevo. A dancer who'd sought out a creative outlet that helped others, she founded this organization and now twice a year heads halfway across the world to help bring a little joy and dance to young girls in Sarajevo. I'll be tagging along doing some writing about the organization, some blogging, tweeting and research for a passion project that I'm too superstitious to talke about. I truly love traveling. If I could find a job where I got paid to see the world, I'd leave tomorrow.

A Night of Noir

2010-05-25T01:59:00.000-07:00

My film education is underwhelming to say the least. A friend of mine recently remarked that my film education began in the 1980's and sadly, he's not wrong. I've consumed films from my generation and read a ton of screenplays but there are still many classics that I hope to study as I continue my artistic journey. One of those that I can cross off my list is "Laura." Haven't heard of it? Neither had I.

As part of the Academy of Arts and Sciences Summer Series "Oscar Noir: 1940s Writing Nominees from Hollywood’s Dark Side series" every Monday this summer, the Academy is screening classic award winning noirs. Because I'm lazy this is what the they have to say about "Laura."

"Based on a novel by Vera Caspary, the screenplay by Jay Dratler, Samuel Hoffenstein and Betty Reinhardt was nominated for an Oscar. Otto Preminger directed Gene Tierney, Clifton Webb, Vincent Price and Dana Andrews in this story of a detective who falls in love with the woman whose murder he’s investigating. Introduced by Scott Frank (“Dead Again,” “Out of Sight”). Preceded by Chapter Two of “Adventures of Captain Marvel: The Guillotine” and “Flora” (1948)."

While the Captain Marvel serial felt dated,(he's no Iron Man) there were some entertaining moments and clever threats from the bad guys as Marvel found himself in a jam. "Flora" was an adorably entertaining cartoon about a down and out dog and the cat that haunted him. It was certainly more entertaining than most cartoons I watched as a child.

Still the main feature "Laura" was the highlight. It was an incredibly entertaining, suspenseful and fast moving film noir that showcases Tierney for her beauty and restraint.

Despite Gene Tierney's beauty (the 1940's Angelina Jolie, I say) Clifton Webb really steals the show. His droll, acerbic performance elicited laughs almost every time he opened his mouth. I actually felt sad when he wasn't onscreen. If he were around today, he'd be giving Russell Crowe, Alec Baldwin and George Clooney a run for their money. Scott Clark, best known for "Get Shorty" and most recently "Marley and Me," announced the film and said it gave him hope that a movie that wasn't in 3D would have an audience lined up around the block.

Sadly, this audiences median age range was sixty. An Avatar/Transformers crowd this was not. It didn't matter to me. I loved being surrounded by people who truly appreciate movie magic. These men and women were part of cinematic history and many were probably integral in the process. They created stories, the ones I've embraced. They didn't have special effects and 3-D and animation to rely on. The stories mattered. And when you watch these movies onscreen, even fifty two years later, it still resonates.

Sitting in that beautiful theater, the head of the Education and Outreach for the Academy called the Samuel Goldwyn Theatre "the temple of movies." I hope someday that a film I write will be screened at that temple. And I sincerely hope that my film is remembered the way a group of film lovers remembered "Laura." With laughter, fondness and an appreciation for true and timeless talent.

For more information and tickets, check out the Academy's website.

Back in the Saddle

2010-05-25T00:57:00.000-07:00

Don't be alarmed. This blog has not been hijacked. Hollie is in fact, still in Hollywood. I'm dusting off this blog and opening its figurative shutters. Ah, look, sunshine! The above photo is my shameless attempt to draw in readers, old and new. I plan to stop by here more frequently and I realized I needed a gimmick. Some day I may start giving things away (books, electronics, my twin sister) but for now, this will have to do. I mean, even if my writing bores you, who doesn't want to oogle some dudes?

Where have I been? Recharging and regrouping for one. The last year and a half was this crazy, awesome, terrifying exciting and at times emotional roller coaster and once it all ended, I realized I'd been consumed by this career, this life, this dream I've been chasing for so long.

What I've realized is that as much as I love it, writing isn't (and can't be) my whole life. It's just a piece of it.

My life is the Brit and Twin Sister and Mom and my friends who don't care what I do for a living. It's the weekend getaways to San Diego, the American Idol nights, the yoga and Bootcamp classes and a bottle of my favorite wine with my favorite people are just as important as the stories I create.

It's easy to forget. Who doesn't want the validation that comes from having "made it," in this town. Sally Field may have been mocked for it but her, "They like me. They really like me," is something every actor, writer, producer and exec has thought at least once in their career. The best and worst part about this town is you're defined not by who you are but by what you do. You better believe more people talked or (better yet listened) when they discovered I was a writer on a show than they did when I was just someone's personal assistant. It didn't matter that my power to help them get ahead was in essence exactly the same. All that mattered was perception.

So now the batteries have been recharged, the system has been rebooted and because I've run out of metaphors, I'll say this, I'm back and better than ever. I'm definitely a better writer. I understand how to dig deeper with characters and create stronger dialogue. I've also become a more discerning viewer. Maybe even overly critical as twin sister sometimes accuses. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. I used to watch movies and television with abandon, getting caught up in the story. Now I find myself cringing at a contrived storyline or wincing when the plot derails. I know it's never just the writers fault. So many cooks go into the kitchen to create what you see on film and TV but the fact of the matter is that now I notice. It takes a little away from the magic I once felt but this isn't a hobby anymore. It's a career. Besides I think that's just part of an artist's journey. How would we ever learn if we didn't take in what we see and hear and strive to do better?

I've been busy writing new material, a pilot, my first and while I'm not writing for any show now, I'm hopeful that a job is in my future. A writer's power is in their ability to create material so that's what I'm doing. Writing every single day. I've finished one pilot and I'm moving on to my second. I think it'll be even better because I've learned so much. Tackling pilots has given me a new appreciation for this medium. Creating a world, characters, and an engine to keep it going for a year, two years, eight years is a hell of a lot harder than it looks. Even pilots ridiculed for being terrible have done something right if they made it through development and actually got shot. We could all be so lucky.

Hopefully aspiring TV scribes have gotten their TV specs polished as the Warner Brothers Workshop deadline is only a few days away. You'll still have time to enter ABC and NBC but once those scripts are done, get to work on your own original pilot. While the workshops and fellowships still require specs, original material is what will help you get staffed once they're done.

It's been awhile since I've been back to the blog and it feels good. Me and the Cowboy hope you'll check back in. More good stuff to come.

In Memoriam

2010-04-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

You never get used to it. Death, dying, losing people in your life that you love. Even when you steel yourself, when you know it’s coming because you've heard the words, "It’s Cancer" and "not much longer.” Even then, you really can't be ready.

The world lost a kind and beautiful soul this week. Allison Stetson; my lovely cousin is now amongst the angels. She’s with her mother, my Aunt Lou, my grandmother Meme, my father and Diane and Dominique, two amazing friends we lost too soon. I’d be even sadder if I didn’t know she had one hell of a welcoming committee waiting for her.

The Cancer came quickly and unexpectedly as I guess it often does. What seemed like a simple stomach problem was much more and within a few months, she was too weak to get out of bed or even speak on the phone. And even though I'd braced myself for the inevitable, I still wanted one last chat, one last lunch, or phone call where she kept me company through rush hour and brightened my day.

I was about six when I met Allison. She was larger than life and though she was a hefty woman, it was her presence that really made her stand out. Allison had a powerful voice, a contagious giggle and a smile that never seemed to fade. She was my cousin, my uncle’s daughter but was really more like an aunt. She ADORED twin sister and I. She lived in Maine and I remember the first time she arrived in Texas to visit how enamord she was with its "country" charm.

"Look at this cactus. We have to get a picture. Oh my God Ronnie,” she’d say to her husband. “Did you see those bulls? Aren’t those the most darling things you’ve ever seen?” The giant snorting steers on the cattle ranch in our town weren’t quite adorable but Allison had a different outlook on life.

This boring Texas town came alive when Allison arrived and so did we. She was like a big kid and twin sister and I stayed glued to her side from the moment she landed. I still remember crying each time she left to return home.

We spent several summers and winters vacationing in Maine with Allison and Ronnie. My mom loved the break it provided and we loved hanging out and listening to her authentic New England accent. “Pahk the cah,” was said over and over and induced giggles every time. Allison never had children of her own but she would have made a great mother. She had this giant heart and if she loved you, you knew it. It wasn’t just the birthday gifts she showered on you; it was her love, her meddling and even her kindness.

They owned a beautiful home in a picturesque part of Maine. Every morning she’d drag us out of bed, teasing us about our ability to sleep for ten plus hours, with a breakfast worthy of Martha Stewart. Then we’d set off for the day’s activities, shopping, swimming, sledding (depending on the time of year) as well as curling up on the sofa and watching movies with her and the cousins. She probably started off our love of shopping. I will never forget when she took Ronnie’s credit card and taught us a new song that we would sing over and over, “And we’ll have fun, fun, fun til Ronnie takes the plastic away.”

Allison never did things half ass. My mother told her in passing that we were fans of New Kids on The Block. Five months later we received every fan’s dream package in the mail, earrings, t-shirts, even a table cloth. We never had the courage to tell her we were SOOOOO over NKOTB.

Allison and Ronnie, after a lifetime of shoveling snow, migrated to Las Vegas. They loved everything about the city. The buffets, the shows, the friendly people and most of all the great weather. I was lucky because they now lived only four hours away. The Brit and I spent Thanksgiving with them, two years in a row. They showed us the sights, Allison cooked up a Thanksgiving meal that made us truly thankful (for elastic waistbands) and we reveled in her love. Allison was a big fan of the Brit. I kinda think she liked him more than me. She was always hoping for news of my impending nuptials. I often called her with other good news. I got a part on a TV show. I got a writing manager/agent. I got staffed! I’d start out with, “I have good news.” And every time without fail, she’d blurt out, “You’re getting married?” Sometimes I’d feel annoyed but I know it was only because she wanted me to be as happy as she was. Allison and Ronnie spent over thirty three years together and I hope I’m as lucky to have a man who loved me as much as Ronnie by my side when the end comes. They are truly a testament to vows, “In sickness and health.”

In the last few years, I became so involved in my career and obligations and just living life that I hadn’t seen Allison in several years. I know she understood but I still wished that I had one last visit. Still, I know that she knew how much we loved her. I have a lifetime of memories. Allie Cat, (which I always called her) we’ll miss you but I know I have another angel up in Heaven looking out for me. Save a spot up there for me and know that your twins will never forget you.

TV Time

2010-03-15T15:11:00.000-07:00

In the writing game, everyone's an expert. Nowadays, every TV or feature scribe, aspiring or professional has a blog. And everyone is hawking services for screenplay analysis, pilot notes, spec advice (all of course for a handsome fee).

I believe in Malcom Gladwell's philosophy in his bestseller "Outliers: The Story of Success" which says that any individuals success can be attributed to the amount of hours they work at something, which he calls, "The 10,000 hour rule." I know I'm nowhere near that but I have spent time working at my craft and not just talking about it. I don't claim to know everything but I've learned a lot in the past few years.

Long before I ever made money writing, I'd give notes to friends and receive them in return. Since getting staffed, I've done a lot of note giving. Something about people paying you for your services has a lot of people wanting your services...for free of course. Actually, some I've been paid for. Others I do for karmic reasons or because it's hard to ask people you like (aka friends, friends of friends or people who just ask really nicely) to pay you for your opinion. Does that mean I'm selling myself short? Maybe. I read Josh Olsen's brutally honest take on why he won't read anyone's screenplay and I get it. I think when you reach that level of success, you're going to be approached by every cousin, third cousin or coffee shop dweller to read your masterpiece. And giving notes for free is not anyone's idea of "making it" in Hollywood, especially when studios are paying you millions of dollars to adapt the latest toy franchise into a bestselling feature film. Also, some people don't really want notes. They truly believe in their greatness and just want your stamp of approval. Nope, not gonna happen. I think even if you took a script by Mr. Olson or Matthew Weiner or any showrunner and put my name or Jon Smith's name on it, you'd still get major notes. Because EVERYONE has an opinion. It doesn't mean everyone's right. Simply that everyone has an opinion. So while I admire Mr. Olsen's ability to say no (fucking) thanks, I'm just much nicer aka a pushover.

In all honesty though, I love helping people. I know I'd make a great development executive or even a manager because I can spot weaknesses and offer fixes pretty easily. Not only that but I love being able to make someone's day by giving them a note that provides insight, strengthens a character's journey or just makes a better script come to life. I love seeing nice, talented people become successful. Granted it's a little selfish because they could also be giving me my next job but hey, this is Hollywood. It's all about paying it forward. I wouldn't have the credits I have were it not for those kind individuals who gave me notes and encouraged me along the way.

Anyway, I won't hawk my services with any tidy banner on my blog or email blasts but if anyone wants notes on a spec or a critique on their upcoming fellowship application, I'd be happy to help. I'd like to say I'm charitable enough to do it for free but hey, a girls got to eat. I'm fair and reasonable.

One area where I'm extremely confident is my ability at finding what's unique and selling it, especially when it comes to contests. I'm pretty much 3-1 when it comes to major writing contests. A great script is important but plenty of people have that. How are you going to sell yourself that makes you stand out? I've had a pretty great track record with writing contests (WB, ABC Disney, Screenplay Expo, Mentorship contests, etc.) and I'd be thrilled if I could pay it forward (for a nominal fee of course.

Also, if anyone is doing research for their specs and needs to see current episodes, I've come across a great resource where you can watch any and every TV show on the air, up to the latest episode ( even ones like the show I worked on which aren't online due to music licensing costs). Of course, it's not "technically" legal and because I want to continue using it, you'll have to email me for the link. I respect the writers who do the work so I figure if you're willing to email me, you really need/want to see them. For online sites, the quality is pretty great and it has current episodes of everything from Dexter to Damages.

I'm loving this season of TV more than I can say. I geek out on a lot of things but mostly I'm excited because it's not just cop procedural that are making a splash. Shows like "The Good Wife," "Parenthood" and "Life Unexpected" give me hope that other people besides myself want to watch great drama about something other than who killed who and how they get caught (not that I'm knocking those, I still can't get enough of Southland, 24, Cold Case and Law and Order: SVU.)

I've also discovered an amazing Canadian show called, "Being Erica." It's an entertaining dramedy about a young woman who goes to therapy and is given a chance to do-over the mistakes in her life. The writing is stellar but the real credit goes to the show's star, Erin Karpluk, whose fearlessness and commitment to the character, whether she's singing karaoke, dancing on top of a bar or baring her soul to her therapist truly makes this show so entertaining. Erin's also been recurring on "Life Unexpected" and if American agents aren't knocking down her door, they should be. She's like a Canadian Sandra Bullock. I'd heard that "Being Erica" had been getting buzz over here and was being shopped around to networks. Its got some heavy religious themes which studios and networks tend to avoid but it would be great to see it on network TV. Anyway, right now it's only airing on Soap Net but don't let that scare you. It's seriously addictive.

For the Ladies

2010-03-07T22:16:00.001-08:00

It's official. Kathryn Bigelow is the FIRST woman to ever win an Academy Award for directing. Her work in in "The Hurt Locker" was so good and I gotta say I love it when David triumphs over Goliath.

I had the chance a few weeks ago to speak with her at the WGA Awards and I asked her advice for the ladies out there who aspire to her advice. I'd hoped she'd be the Academy Award winner. Now she is.

Check out my interview. What I'll take away. Be passionate and don't take no for an answer. Hell yes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk-2TAlE8P4

It's a Wonderfully OK Life

2010-03-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

"One of the things I always tell my kids is that it's OK to head out for wonderful, but on your way to wonderful, you're gonna have to pass through all right. When you get to all right, take a good look around and get used to it, because that may be as far as you're gonna go."

-Bill Withers

Not only is Bill a great musician but he's got some sage advice. I love this quote because we all strive for wonderful. No one wakes up and says I just want an alright life. Kids don't dream in alright. They dream in wonderful. But I think you have to find a way to be happy during the alright periods, so that when you get to the wonderful times, you're damn sure appreciative of it.

I think just looking at the Academy Award nominees tonight, you can see plenty of people who've gone from OK to awesome. Sandra Bullock wasn't on any ones wonderful list a few years ago. Gabourey Sidibe, the star of "Precious" was on her way to just an OK life, going to college and working in an office. She said herself on NPR, that her life was rather boring and routine. Jeremy Renner, star of "The Hurt Locker" had been doing OK by making a living but it wasn't his idea of wonderful. Studios weren't knocking down his door and I bet no one who wasn't in LA proper even knew his name. Geoffrey Fletcher, who crafted the moving tale of "Precious" talked about his struggle for years, going to Harvard and NYU Film school, a pretty wonderful sounding combo and still struggling to find his way Eight years later, he's got a first class ride on Train Wonderful but the journey's made him humble and grateful for every moment.

Every creative person in the world aims for wonderful but not all of us get there or stay there, especially in this business. It's corny but true that it's all part of the journey. Tonight's the Oscars and every writer, actor, director and wannabe in this town and every city and town in the world can't help but think, just maybe, if I work hard enough, one day I'll be up there, thanking the Academy. It's not likely but it's most certainly a wonderful dream.

Oscar and I Go Viral

2010-03-01T12:35:00.000-08:00

Sounds kinda dirty huh? No need to worry folks, it's not that kinda show. Nope, I've been asked to help Poptimal with their nationwide Oscar coverage. As a relatively new Tweeter, I have to say I find it kinda exciting when complete strangers suddenly begin following me. Once upon a time, that would have involved restraining orders but now I say, bring it!

So if you're a loyal reader, a friendly lurker or accidentally stumbled upon my site surfing for porn, be sure to follow me @hollienoverton.

Who are my picks for this year's Oscar? Not "Avatar" that's for sure though I still think it'll nab Best Picture.

Look, I readily admit that I was opted to see it at the Rio 7 Theater in for $5 in Kingsville, Texas and instead of paying extra to see it in 3D or 3D IMAX. I recognize the brilliance of this revolutionary technology and I know a lot of and hard work and passion went into making it. But I think that can be said about a lot of films, including "Up," which blows Avatar out of the water.

Unlike many real (read paid) critics, I'm a huge James Cameron fan. But this story was lacking and didn't pack the emotional punch I'd expected. I mean, I cry at Hallmark commercials and Lifetime movies but I didn't shed a single solitary tear. I mean, really?

That's why I'm rooting for "The Hurt Locker" because 1) It was a fantastic movie with amazing acting and a riveting unyielding script and 2) because it was directed by a woman. Does that matter? For my future and the future of other women writers and directors, it certainly does.

Look, I'm not fresh off the boat. I've known for years that it continues to be a struggle for women and minorities to break in. I just read an eye opening article about how few women writers had pilots in development or ordered to script. But when I covered the WGA awards last week, I saw firsthand just how underrepresented women screenwriters are.

Not a SINGLE woman was nominated for a WGA award this year for screenwriting. Not a single woman wrote an Oscar nominated script. No woman has ever won a directing award. Never! Some people may argue that men just write better than women. I call bulls**t. Women are given less opportunities then men. If you look at spec sales or scripts reviewed on Scriptshadow, (which doesn't happen often) the movies have male protagonists, are horror films or raunchy comedies. They have to write like men to even get in the game.

Even when a woman does write a blockbuster, it goes unnoticed. Laeta Kalogridis wrote the hit "Shutter Island" but no one even mentioned that. Should it be mentioned? Absolutely! Until, it's a regular occurrence, every woman writer should celebrate these victories.

Don't worry I'm not going to start a virtual bra burning but it does make me realize that it may be easier if your name is Howard instead of Hollie. I've been in the game and I don't think being a woman hurt me (it may have helped) but I don't know how that climb up the ladder will work.

I hope that someday I'll have a feature script worthy of accolades (or box office success) though that's certainly not why I sit down and write. It's just too damn hard to create anything much less create it with visions of Oscar or dollar signs dancing in my head. I sincerely hope that someday women screenwriters don't have to have flashy back stories (like working the pole) to get on Hollywood's radar. Anyway, I progress...

That is why I'm rooting for "The Hurt Locker" and director Kathryn Bigelow. Women are equally as talented and hopefully in 2010 and beyond Hollywood will sit up and take no

tice.

For Best Adapted Screenplay, I know that Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner are going home with the Oscar for "Up in the Air" but I'd really love for Geoffrey Fletcher, who penned "Precious" to take the golden statue. Not only was it a brilliant adaptation but he was so gracious and kind when I met him, I feel a personal investment in it. You could almost feel how thrilled he was to be there. I just love seeing gracious and generous people get ahead in this town. I'll never be bitchy or cutthroat so I have to say it gives me hope.

Sandra Bullock is my pick for Best Actress. Is it wrong that it's simply because I like her so much? Probably but who cares. Meryl's already got enough statues, let Sandy take this one on home. If I wasn't such a fan of Sandy's I'd be rooting for Gabourey Sidibe. She gave the most honest performance but I hate when a first timer gets an Oscar. It just seems like beginner's luck, even though I know delivering a performance like that takes a hell of a lot more than luck.

All the other categories seem cut and dry. Jeff Bridges, Monique, Christopher Waltz all delivered the kind of performance that can't be ignored. Be sure to follow me on Sunday and let me know who you're rooting for on Oscar night.

Shameless Self-Promotion

2010-02-22T23:08:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, I began working with a small pop culture blog called Poptimal. I wrote "Mad Men" reviews and "Grey's Anatomy" reviews and I was impressed with how professional the site was and enjoyed sharing my passion for my favorite shows with interested readers.

Luckily as I've continued to grow as a writer, so too has Poptimal. This past week, I had the chance to cover two events, Beyond Words, which is a Writer's Guild sponsored event and talk back with the Academy and Writers GUild nominees for Best Screenplay's as well as the WGA Awards held in Beverly Hills. I met some of this year's most amazing scribes like Scott Cooper, who wrote "Crazy Heart" and Michael Sucsy, who wrote the incredible "Grey Gardens" and James Cameron who wrote a little indie film you may have heard of called "Avatar." My favorite interview was Geoffrey Fletcher, not only because he wrote "Precious" a beautifully heart wrenching movie but because he was such a nice genuine guy who truly seemed to appreciate how blessed he was to be there. All in all, it was an inspiring week. It's definitely got me recharged to keep working at my craft.

Be sure to visit Poptimal too and help it continue to grow.

Holla at Hollie

2010-02-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

I appreciated the love I got for my last blog and realized after rereading it that it sounded a bit more down than I'd intended. It was more like a pep talk for myself which I think everyone needs. But I'm back in the saddle, hard at work and hopefully creating some wonderfully entertaining writing that Hollywood can't wait to snap up. That or kindling for someone's fire! :) Either way, I'm still doing what I love so it can't be all that bad.

Of course, in my downtime, I've been gorging on great TV and film and sometimes it's crazy that I'm actually one of them now. An honest to goodness member of the WGA. I've made it into the clubhouse and I've got the insurance coverage to show for it. Okay, I'm a long way from being feted at industry partiies just yet but hey, give me time.

For now, I'm keeping busy and moonlighting as a paparazzi. Okay, not quite. But I will be playing journalist this Thursday by covering a special event.

The Writers Guild of America West, the Writers Guild Foundation, and Variety will be holding a panel discussion with Hollywood's hottest writers/directors. And yours truly has scored an invite courtesy of Poptimal to the pre-panel interview.

Just a few of the confirmed guests include:

Mark Boal (The Hurt Locker),
James Cameron (Avatar),
Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart),
Geoffrey Fletcher (Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire),
Alex Kurtzman (Star Trek, co-written by Roberto Orci),
Jon Lucas & Scott More (The Hangover),
Scott Neustadter ((500) Days of Summer, co-written by Michael H. Weber),
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air).
WGAW Secretary-Treasurer David N. Weiss and
Timothy M. Gray, Variety Group Editor

I know you've got burning questions for the masterminds behind your favorite films. If so, mosey on over (once a Texas girl, always a Texas girl) to Holla at Hollie on Poptimal's site and post your question or tweet it to me @hollienoverton or @poptimal, then check back in to see if your question made the cut!

2010-01-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

I'm still here, writing, refusing to give up. This is a town that's unforgiving in that you constantly have to prove yourself but I'm lucky. I've always liked being an underdog. Keeping my eye on the prize and hoping 2010 brings plenty of good things my way.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

"We will open the book. It's pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

---Edith Lovejoy Pierce

What can I say about 2009. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride but one I wouldn't trade for the world. It brought opportunities I could have never imagined, delivered infinite personal challenges and made me a stronger more resilient person. It ushered in my first professional writing gig, allowed me to work with some of the smartest, coolest writers in the business, and had me getting representation by a kick ass agent and manager. It also provided me with the opportunity to become a member of the Writers Guild, an achievement I still can't quite believe. Hooray! Not only am I now a member of an extremely esteemed guild but I have health coverage for the next year. Woo-hoo!

It was a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, a year that will forever remind me how grateful I am for the people in my life, both friends and family. It was a year that taught me that I will always be a writer and telling stories, regardless of whether anyone pays me for it or not (although I really, really hope they do).

It was a year that reunited me with twin sister and made me realize just how lucky I am to have not only a twin but a best friend. It was my fourth year in a relationship with the amazing Brit who puts up with my truly heinous morning persona and OCD personality and after all these years still makes me laugh.

2009 allowed me to discover The Wire, The Good Wife, Glee, Flash Forward, Modern Family, Community, The Hurt Locker, An Education, Precious, Up, Elizabeth Gibert, Po Bronson, Blame, Blind Side (book and movie) and so much more. It was a year I realized that dreams do come true but not always how you envisioned them and that you keep fighting for what you want.

What will 2010 bring? Hopefully, a great new job that allows me to demonstrate my incredible and infinite talents, more fun with friends and family, some travel, (hopefully internationally), and some surprises because without them life would be boring. A friend recently asked me about my New Year's resolutions, something I'm extremely diligent about. One resolution I had last year was to give up drinking soda. I battled it all year long. But I'm happy to announce that I am on week number three with no Coca-Cola or Dr. Pepper which means even if it was cutting it close, I finally succeeded before year's end in getting that damn soda monkey off my back.

Hollie's Top Five New Year's Resolutions

1) Keep On Truckin- For a long time, I sold my talents short. I hid my writing away worried about what people would think. When I finally put it out there I was shocked at the positive response. So I plan to keep doing what I've always done- writing, writing, writing. I've got a lot of things I'm working on and I intend to just keep telling the stories I want to tell. So that's what I'll keep doing.

2) More Ohmmm-I do lots of cardio but neglect stretching. Once I'm doing it, I love it but it's just another thing I have to schedule in. But I was driving across the street the other day and saw an old woman hunched over, inching her way across the street. She was a human pretzel. I seriously doubt she ever spent half an hour to an hour a day stretching. I don't have to go to a class, I know enough to just do it on my own. So no excuses. At least three times a week, I'm just gonna do it. Plus, it might not hurt to really stop and breathe now and again.

3) Disconnect- I think this was on last year's list but dammit it's only gotten worse so it's earned a spot two years running. I love writing but I also spend countless hours goofing off. It's hard when you don't have a clock to punch. I find myself constantly online or writing or looking at my phone. Sometimes even when I'm not logged in, I'm logged out emotionally. I'm not quite sure how to do it yet but I want to find a way to take a break from the IM'ing and the Facebooking and the email and just live in the moment. This resolution scares me which means it definitely needs to happen.

4) Get a Little More Yeehaw and a Little less LA-la- I've been in LA now for several years and I find myself battling a chronic case of LA-itis. What's LA-itis? It's that condition where you are suddenly jaded by things you used to love. Other symptoms include increased jealousy over others success, bouts of horrible insecurity and fleeting feelings of self-importance. LA can and will change you if you let it. I never thought I'd catch it but I've realized I've been suffering from a mild case. But it's early enough to stop it.

I need to remember the reasons I fell in love with writing and acting. It wasn't high brow art that made me fall in love with TV. It was Dallas and Falcon Crest, Dawson's Creek and Alias. It was pop culture at it's finest and I want to possess that same sense of wonderment at how lucky I am to be in Hollywood pursuing this career. I am here because I want to tell stories and inspire other's in small towns to dream big. I don't want to get so jaded that I can't see greatness in movies like 500 Days of Summer and Avatar. I can still love movies if the script isn't great or a TV show that isn't trendy or well received. I don't need to be a bandwagon fan of anything. That's just not who I am and who I want to be. I also don't want to change who I am to fit the LA/Hollywood mold. I want to be a good person and while I know there are plenty of asshats in LA who have made it, I want to be one of those nice people that everyone likes who climbs that ladder of success. Twin sister and I have often joked that "She was nice," will be our tombstone epitaph but really what the hell is so wrong with that.?

5) Banish the Worrywart Within- My mother never worries. Never. For as long as I can remember, she's been unflappable. The air conditioner went on the fritz, the alternator in the car went out, I broke both legs (really happened) and she just got laid off, things really couldn't have gotten worse. Most people would have had a nuclear meltdown but Mom would shrug her shoulders, and take us out for TCBY promising us that it would work itself out. How I long for that kind of faith. Me, I obsess and obsess and then obsess about my obsessing. Blame it on the writer brain but 2010 is the year of letting go. There are so many things that are not in my control that only will only serve to drive me crazy. I have a roof over my head, people who love me and a talent that no one can take away. It won't happen over night but I'm determined to wash the worry away.

What are your New Year's resolutions? Are you going to make any changes for the new decade?How will you make 2010 your best year yet? Thanks for sticking with me through another year. I wish everyone a happy, healthy, prosperous 2010 and that your book this year is filled with an amazing adventure of your own choosing.

Merry Christmas to All

2009-12-24T23:51:00.000-08:00

It has been years since I spent Christmas in Texas. I thought I'd hate it. I've always loved my New York City Christmas. The city lights, the cold, the Broadway shows, the Rockettes, the Queens apartment decorated so lovingly by twin sister and her roomie. Mom would arrive and we'd go out shopping and explore the entire city. But this year, Mom's health made travel impossible so twin sister and I came home. And you know what? It's been pretty great. We haven't done a whole lot. Watched some of the year's most acclaimed movies like "The Lovely Bones," "The Hurt Locker," "500 Days of Summer," (gotta love Guild screeners) and one of my favorites of the year, "Up." We went to Christmas Eve service like we did every year since I was four and remembered the true meaning of Christmas. We watched "Love Actually" for the hundredth time and twin sister's been cooking up a storm. I've managed to go running twice to fight off all the Christmas calories and I've kept up with the writing as well. Tomorrow on Christmas day, I'll be hanging with Mom and twin sister and opening presents and having a traditional turkey dinner. It's not the usual Christmas but all that matters is that I'm with family and making more memories. It's about being with loved ones, laughing and eating good food and celebrating what the holiday is actually about. I hope all of you are as lucky as I am and have a wonderful Christmas.

TOP TV MONTAGES

2009-12-22T10:55:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me, know I LOVE TV. So as this decade winds to a close, I wanted to do a Top Ten list. But everyone and their mother is doing Top Ten episodes, I opted for something a little different.

"Dear God, you whisper softly as a Top 40 ballad begins to play and your favorite TV characters look longingly out a window as they sip Dewars or cuddle a loved one. Please not another music montage."

Shows this season from "Flash Forward" to "Vampire Diaries" to "Community" use them (or in some cases overuse them) but once upon a time shows saved the musical montage for their most powerful moments. Sometimes music conveys an emotion so perfectly, you don't need words. So in honor of that glorified time when less was more, we pay tribute to the Top TV music montages from some of your most beloved shows.

10.

MAD MEN
“Mad Men” would never stray into maudlin montage territory which is why the opening scene in the "Maidenform" episode is so darn good. Despite being a traditional opening montage, the music selected, the Decemberists “Infanta” is most certainly not. It’s stylized, exciting and a great way to start off Season 2 on one of the most exciting shows of this decade.

9.

SCRUBS
Whoever said comedy can’t do music montages? Okay, no one said that but they usually leave it to the drama folks. That’s why the series finale of “Scrubs” was so kick ass. Actually, Scrubs didn’t end after Season 8 but moseyed on over to ABC but this montage would have been a pretty sweet swan song. I dare you not to cry when Peter Gabriel’s “Book of Love” begins and JD, (Zach Braff) watches his hopeful future unfold, as he marries Elliot and raises a family with her as he and Turk continue their off the wall antics.

8.

FREAKS AND GEEKS
“Freaks and Geeks” may have gone unnoticed during its TV debut but the cult following is rabid and stars like James Franco and Seth Rogen, once unknowns are now box office gold. Watching Daniel (Franco) dressed in punk wear, looking the fool after getting jilted by a girl and returning to Lindsay’s open arms as “You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You” played on was the moment I knew I’d love James and creator Judd Apatow forever.

7.
THE OC
“The OC.” How we love you. Let us count the ways. Before "Gossip Girl",and her XO’s, we had Seth Cohen, Summer, Marisa and Ryan. While the show may have gone off the rails in later seasons, this first season perfectly captured the rich and restless in the sleepy beach community. The season finale’s montage with Jeff Buckley’s cover of "Hallelujah" played on as Marisa bid farewell to Ryan and and sperminated girlfriend and Seth mourned the loss of his new best friend by setting sail in his catamaran.

6.
THE SOPRANOS
Mob bosses, psychiatrists and murder, oh my. The Sopranos was an instant hit and the Season 2 opener” Guy Walks into a Psychiatrists Office” proved why. As Frank Sinatra crooned, “It was a Very Good Year" an expertly crafted montage shows us what our favorite mobsters have been up to. Tony taking over the hot seat, his mother playing possum, Junior doing time and Carmella playing the proper housewife. The brilliant David Chase condenses what could have been unnecessary and perhaps even boring exposition into a tightly crafted opening teaser. Only two words can sum up its awesomeness. Bada Bing!

5.

LOST
"Lost"often used music in its montages and plenty of people have died in five seasons. But as the Losties celebrated the birth of Claire’s baby and Jack delivered the news to Shannon about Boone’s death, tears were a’ coming. No weepy ballad was necessary, just the actor’s raw emotions and the simple instrumentals. A picture perfect moment to illustrate the beauty of life and death.

4.

WEST WING
Not many shows were as entertaining and insightful as the “West Wing” or delivered a more idealized portrayal of how we want our government to be. But the first season's holiday themed episode “In Excelsis Deo” went beyond that by delivering humor, heartache, holiday cheer and a heck of a lot of Aaron Sorkin’s snappy dialogue .A near perfect episode of TV, the final scenes of a children's choir singing, "The Little Drummer Boy" as the President and staff looked on. They intercut with Toby (Richard Schiff) and Mrs. Landingham (Kathryn Joosten) attending a funeral at Arlington National Cemetery for a homeless Korean War Vet. This standout episode proves why Schiff earned an Emmy award for his work on the show and why it earns my number 7 spot.

3.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
“Friday Night Lights” in case you didn’t know is still on the air. It may be the best show on TV that no one is watching and Season 1 was truly inspired. The season finale was a classic underdog tale and it perfectly captured the mania and intensity of the football season. The remarkably catchy Tony Lucca cover of “Devil Town” plays over the montage as we watch the town preparing for the Dillon Panthers to head to the state football playoffs. The Rally girls are cheering, businesses are shuttering and the players are traveling across that West Texas landscape hoping to capture the title. This montage perfectly captures the intensity, doggedness and fanaticism that are imbued in football crazed towns all across Texas.

2.

GREY'S ANATOMY
It’s a tough call but Grey’s Anatomy earned the second spot for the Season 2 finale, “Losing my Religion.” Denny’s death sent shock waves through the country, or perhaps just my living room. Izzy ( Kathryn Heigl) dressed in her puffy prom dress sobbed over Denny’s sudden demise and Alex swooped in and picked her up, Snow Patrol’s "Chasing Cars" played in the background evoking the ache of lost love as hearts all over were breaking. Three hanky, snot flowing, how they could do this to us kind of heartbreaking. Grey’s has been guilty of overindulging in its music montages as of late, but this one will be long remembered for the emotional whollop it packed.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE....

THE WIRE

If you haven’t seen “The Wire” yet, run, don’t walk to your nearest video store (after finishing this blog of course!). Quite possibly the most perfect television show ever made, David Simon created the most realistic police drama seen in TV or film. Each season included a montage but nothing wrapped up a season better than the finale episode of Season 4, “Final Grades.” This season offers a sobering insiders look at the education system, politicians and the role cops play. Paul Weller’s “Walk on Gilded Splinters” evoked a sort of hopelessness as our cops continue their work, some of the kids find salvation and help form the system while others were swallowed by it. It’s not an easy montage to sum up because it encapsulates the whole season. It’s the kind of montage that doesn't overdo it but still manages to leave your heart in your throat and have you thinking about these characters long after the final credits roll.

Brothers

2009-12-06T23:23:00.000-08:00

I was eager to see "Brothers" when the trailers first began appearing because 1) I’ll see anything that Jake Gyllenhal does especially if he’s shirtless and 2) Jim Sheridan is a director whose films have always moved and inspired me.

While the movie, at its core is about family, the ongoing war is a strong focal point. War is not a subject that has seen much success in Hollywood. Recent films such as “Lions for Lambs,” and “Stop Loss” were critical duds. But that didn’t stop director Jim Sheridan from visiting this territory again in his remake of Danish filmmaker, Susan Bier’s film of the same name.

At the start, we meet Grace Cahill, played by Natalie Portman (quite possibly the most beautiful Army housewife to have ever lived) who’s happily married to Army Captain Sam Cahill, a rigid, buff and buzzed Toby Maguire. Sam’s a dedicated Marine who lets us see his softer side when he’s playing with his two daughters, Isabelle and Maggie, two wonderful young actresses, Taylor Geare and Bailee Madison. But as Sam’s preparing to deploy for his fourth tour, his ne’er do well brother, Tommy, an equally buff Jake Gyllenhal is getting out of prison and hoping to reconnect with his fractured family.

Everything changes though when Sam’s helicopter is shot down and he’s presumed dead. Sheridan captures a family’s grief with such heartbreaking precision; checking your loved one’s voicemail, smelling their clothing and enduring the daily struggle of just getting out of bed when that loss overwhelms you. But the surprise is that Sam didn’t die in that crash. He’s actually being held hostage by the Taliban and the suffering he endures is contrasted with his family’s struggle to move on with their lives.

The chemistry between Portman and Gyllenhal is great but the best moments are those with the young girls. Sheridan, who also directed 2005’s “In America” could give a Master Class in how to elicit believable and authentic performances from children. Whether they are making pancakes so “Mom won’t be sad anymore” or helping Uncle Tommy and his friends with kitchen repairs, these are the quiet moments that make the movie. The cuts between Grace’s domestic life and budding relationship with Tommy to Sam enduring savage brutality by his captors, often feels a little jarring but the building of tension Sheridan creates when Sam does finally return home is a highlight of the film. Maguire gives a surprising performance of a man haunted by things he saw and did who now feels like a stranger in his own home. Everything leads up to a final confrontation between the brothers and this is what I think is the fatal flaw in the movie- the brother’s relationship. We understand from Tommy’s early confrontation with his father, a retired Marine (an always steady Sam Shephard) that he was a mean drunk who was hard on his kids. But we only hear it. Seeing Tommy and Sam interact and getting to know the inner workings of their relationship before Sam’s ordeal may have made their conflict at the end of the film more powerful.

“Brothers” is without question a solid movie. All three actors deliver exceptional performances, proving why they are all marquee names. The setting feels authentic and the screenplay by David Benioff is well crafted. I found it to feel slightly manipulative and lacking in true depth and emotion. And even though I didn’t love this movie, I’d still recommend seeing it, even if it’s just to catch some great moments or if you’re a Gyllenhal fan, his muscled physique.

The Tao of the Redhead

2009-12-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

While working from home, I have plenty of time to catch up on my news. And redheads have been making headlines. Unfortunately, it's not for doing anything other than being redheads.

A Facebook group was created called "Kick a Ginger" Day inspired by a 2005 "South Park" episode in which Cartman calls redheads "evil" and "soulless"and said they suffer from a disease called gingervitis. OK, it's kinda funny. That is until last week when things got serious and kids got hurt.

Several kids at A. E. Wright, a middle school in Calabasas, CA, took the joke too far when they started beating and harassing red headed students. Three of those students face criminal charges and the fourteen year old Vancouver boy who started the Facebook group is also being being investigated and could face charges as well. It made me feel slightly less depressed to read that a group of friends rallied around one of the redheads providing protection as she went from class to class. At least all hope isn't lost for our kind. But the predictions seem so dire. First, we're headed for extinction, then it's proven that we're not just big babies about needles or anesthesia, but are actually genetically inclined to feel more pain (told ya so Mom!) And now this!

Sad to say I know all too well the plight of the redhead. I didn't just grow up a redhead anywhere, I grew up a redhead in South Texas. An identical twin and a redhead. An identical twin, a redhead with freckles, glasses, braces, a few extra pounds and next to zero pigmentation. The only thing that saved me from complete and total social exile was was my enthusiasm for doing other kids homework and my aptitude at the trombone. Yes, I also played the trombone.

Adolescence is cruel for almost any one but add in hair the color of carrots and it was a whole steaming pile of difficult. I heard nicknames like Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Brite (she had blond hair but c'mon kids can make almost anything seem insulting). When people compared us to someone famous, it was usually Chelsea Clinton (cue sounds of thirteen year old sobbing).

It wasn't even about the hair color, it was about being different. The mob mentality preyed upon on the weak and redheads seem to land firmly in that category. I so desperately wanted to look like the beautiful blondes on Dallas or Cindy Crawford with her luxurious brunette locks. I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be just like everyone else. And then I got older. I lost the weight and grew my hair out. I left the confines of my small Texas town and took trips to San Francisco, New York, and Mexico. And something strange began to happen. Everywhere we went, we were noticed. Not just noticed but admired. We were the red-headed twins. Not a bad thing, something people were intrigued and excited by. People stopped to talk to us. Old ladies touched our hair and told us we were good luck. Men old enough to be our father proposed marriage. It was strangely flattering, all of it, but it wasn't enough to convince me that being a redhead was anything other than a curse.

And, sure enough, one day I made a big decision to leave my redheaded roots behind me. I'd gone to a salon and when the overly enthusiastic stylist convinced me that I desperately needed highlights... $300 highlights (he left that part out). I said yes without any hesititation. When he was finished, I was almost blonde. Barely a trace of my redheaded self remained. I looked in the mirror and I saw a stranger. I hated it and so did most of the people who knew me. It took a few months to grow out and I went back to my natural color (or as close to it as possible). I wasn't upset or ashamed anymore. I'm a redhead dammit, and proud of it.

Of course, I couldn't tell my eight-year old, or twelve-year old or sixteen year old self that but I've figured it out now. Being a redhead gave me the ability to embrace my differences. It allowed me to be okay with not being part of the crowd. It may have even set me on the path of following my dreams, no matter how crazy or farfetched they seemed. Maybe I would've never been inspired to step on stage or pick up a pen and write my own stories. Maybe I'd simply be another peroxide blond in a sea of peroxide blondes. The world has enough Pamela Andersons. I think we need a few more Christina Hendricks!

The South Park spoof was meant as a satire on racism, homophobia and anti-semitism but kids aren't savy enough to understand that. The sad thing is that those gingers who were targeted, who found themselves beaten and humiliated may never embrace their redheaded greatness. They'll L'oreal it away and pretend that's not who they were or they'll soldier on, burdened by their carrot tops, always secretly wishing they were anything but. And that's a shame. Maybe someday someone will start a Hug a Ginger Day or a A Redheads Rule Day. Maybe I will. Because in the end, being a redhead is something I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

The Private Lives of Uninteresting People

2009-11-30T13:23:00.000-08:00

“The Private Lives of Pippa Lee” wants to be a deep movie. A. SERIOUS. MOVIE. It delves into all sorts of issues, touching upon aging and mortality, love and loss, about selling out dreams for a suburban life; fidelity and infidelity. It wants to talk about all of it but in the end says nothing at all.

Written and directed by Rebecca Miller, (playwright Arthur Miller’s daughter and wife of the incredible Daniel Day Lewis) this film tells the story of Pippa, a one-time party girl who found salvation in marrying a man twice her age. Playing the title role, the beautiful and underrated Robin Wright Penn delivers a memorable performance in an otherwise unmemorable movie. Pippa’s come to a crossroads after she’s forced to relocate from New York City and into a senior citizen community with Herb, her now elderly husband, (Alan Arkin, who’s got crotchety but feisty and loveable senior down pat).

As Pippa finds herself coming undone, experiencing bouts of sleepwalking (a metaphor for the film perhaps?) her clunky flashbacks show her early years. Blake Lively of “Gossip Girl” fame plays the younger Pippa, a beautiful girl who’s tormented by her her mother, a speed addicted pastor's wife and is desperate to escape. When she's finally able to break free from the drama, she begins her own teenage rebellion of drugs, booze and sex. It all has a been there, seen that kind of feeling. In fact, the whole film feels like a giant déjà vu.

The problem with Pippa is that she’s a woman who made so few choices in life, her story has no story. At the opening of the film, Herb’s best friend Sam, (Mike Binder) says he’s known Pippa for twenty five years and he still feels like he doesn’t know her at all. Two hours into the movie, I felt the same way. She had no hopes, no dreams, or at least nothing she reveals. She was a blank slate, which made it impossible for me to care about her.

Along the way we find out how Pippa Sarkissian becomes Pippa Lee. We meet the usual cast of characters. Sam’s much younger girlfriend, Sandra, an unbelievably over the top Winona Ryder, whose performance felt like it belonged in some Woody Allen comedy and not this stoic drama. We meet Pippa and Herb’s kids, the angsty daughter played by Zoe Kazan (Elia’s granddaughter) and the loyal law school son played, (Ryan McDonald) Pippa befriends her neighbor’s troubled adult son Chris, a surprisingly restrained and interesting Keanu Reeves (and by interesting, I mean I liked him). Keanu looked great too. He literally hasn’t aged a day and he’s almost 45. Who does his facials?

But I digress. The acting isn’t the problem here. They deliver, hitting all the right notes. Some of the dialogue is sharp and witty but it isn’t enough to save this drawn out film. The movie is based on the book Miller wrote and one could see how this novel would be a good read. But onscreen it just falls flat. The story moves at such a glacial pace at times I felt like screaming at the screen, “For God’s sake let something happen.” But sadly nothing did. You’ll get no twists and turns, no mind shattering revelations. It’s not a terrible movie by any means. It’s just not a good one. In the end, at least for me, Pippa’s life just wasn’t interesting enough for the two hours of celluloid.

Believe the Hype

2009-11-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

Hype is nothing new in movies. In previous years, films like “Juno,” or “Slumdog Millionaire” have been hyped and over hyped. I usually try to find out what films are coming out and see them before that begins because otherwise, I KNOW I’ll be biased. I may even be inclined to dislike a movie because people have praised it so much. It feels like I’ve got publicists telling me what to like and I hope to be less easy to manipulate than that. Which is why when the buzz for “Precious” or the equally lengthy title by which it’s usually called, “Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” began, I wasn’t going to be so easily swayed. I was going to see it of course, but it would have to work really hard to prove to me it was that good. Happily, it did all of that and more. Precious isn’t the greatest movie ever but what it does have is heart. It takes you on an emotional gut wrenching journey and makes you think about those nameless, faceless people you pass by every day.

Precious is a young, overweight and illiterate teenager, who resides in a house of horrors, enduring sexual and physical abuse at the hands of both her parents, and struggling to break free. This movie required a kind of powerhouse performance and director Lee Daniels, in his first film, could not have made this film without his lead actress, Gabourey Sibide. Sibide’s performance is so searing and heartbreaking; you imagine she’s channeling her own inner city turmoil. But in interviews, she’s a charming young college student who shows that sometimes acting really is just that.

As Precious, now pregnant with her second child at the hands of her father continues to be beaten down both physically and emotionally by her mother, a remarkable Mo’Nique. She finds herself enrolling at an alternative high school where she’ll uncover her ability not only to learn but also to love. Precious isn’t often an easy movie to watch. The violence feels so real, so intimate. But the redemption that Precious finds is profoundly beautiful. I was also surprised by Mariah Carey’s cameo as a sympathetic social worker. Eschewing all vanity, she brings depth and compassion to this role and in one of the most heartbreaking scenes offers a moment so genuine, it makes you wonder what she could accomplish in a larger role under the talents of a director like Daniels. Precious is most definitely worth the hype.

Another movie that was hyped and on the other side of the spectrum is “The Blind Side.” I read this book by Michael Lewis, a few months ago and loved it. Could a Warner Brothers adaptation, something that looked so sugary and saccharine in the trailers actually do it justice? The answer is one hundred percent yes. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t sugary or saccharine. It was but in the best way. This may not be the best movie I've seen recently but it's certainly the most fun I've had.

I know critics will have all sorts of serious dissections of the movie and its racial and social themes but sometimes you have to say to hell with that and just enjoy the ride. “The Blind Side” is Hollywood entertainment and escapism at its best. It just nails it. It’s fun, slick tone, and solid performances don’t hurt. The “Blind Side,” tells the story of Michael Oher (newcomer Quinton Aaron), another illiterate teenager who’s been forsaken by his drug addicted mother. When he gets enrolled at a Catholic high school, the gentle giant is taken in by Sean and Leann Tuohy, played by Tim McGraw and a phenomenal Sandra Bullock. Determined to help him learn and get on the football team, the entire family rallies around him, proving that love and support are all any one needs for a chance to succeed. The movie is predictable but it doesn’t stop you from rooting for Michael and the Tuohys. Sandra Bullock has always been one of my favorite actresses, and I think she’s severely underrated. She definitely brings her A-game in this movie, channeling a Southern bell meets bulldog persona and kicking ass wherever she goes. Her Southern accent is spot on and I love the way the mother-son relationship that was so beautifully depicted in the book comes to life here. I love being surprised and “The Blind Side” and “Precious” did just that.

On "The Road"

2009-11-30T12:30:00.000-08:00

"He knew only that his child was his warrant. He said: If he is not the word of God God never spoke."

I’ve been a fan of Cormac McCarthy’s novel “The Road” ever since I listened to the audio CD several years. This Pulitzer Prize winning novel enthralled and engaged me in such a surprising way. I felt myself swept up by the beautiful suffering of the title characters, The Man and The Boy. It was the type of book that I may have picked up and put back down because of the exorbitant amount of exposition but hearing it read aloud made all the difference. It made me ache for these characters and as what often happens when I glimpse greatness feel just slightly envious of Cormac’s talent and ability to create such a rich world.

When I managed to snag a ticket to an early screening of “The Road” directed by John Hillcoat, I wasn’t hopeful. How do you take a hauntingly beautiful film about a man and a boy struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic world and turn it into an entertaining movie? The answer is simple. You hire a talented writer like newcomer Joe Penhall who stays loyal to the story but adds his own touch. You enlist an Australian director with a strong vision. You eschew celebrity stunt casting and instead hire actors like Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall and newcomer Kody Smitt-McPhee and voila, you have a haunting portrayal of survival, love and hope and the lengths a father will go to protect his son. Viggo as “The Man” and his son, “The Boy” walk along the road we flashback to the beginning, when an unnamed event (perhaps nuclear, as everywhere seems to burn) though the explanation is never distinct. We learn that humanity as we know it has fallen and survival is left to those who are stronger, faster and possess weapons.

As “The Man” makes a plan to lead his son south to a warmer and hopefully kinder climate, he must protect his from son from foraging bands of humans who’ve taken to cannibalism and other deplorable acts and prepare him to survive on his own. The cinemataThis is no New Moon (Thank God) and if you’re the kind of person who only goes to the movies to be uplifted than you may need to skip this one. It’s a little art housey but I’ve never been one to scorn a film for that. I think it’s a faithful adaptation and an enjoyable two hour escape.

After the screening, Viggo gave a talkback. I’d intended to write up a whole question and answer session regarding it but I got busy (or lazy depending on your definition) so I’ll just give you the highlights.. Viggo isn’t at all what I thought he’d be. He’s generally portrayed as serious, a true act-or! I figured he’d be sullen and disagreeable having to do press to pimp out his movie. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was dressed in a suit jacket with his long hair combed neatly and the kind of presence that made you wonder why he isn’t a bigger star. His passion for this project was evident and he was insightful, funny and handsome. If I hadn’t already had a crush after seeing “Eastern Promises”, I did now! Viggo spoke of his process, of having live in that depressing world using thoughts of his family and friends and his own son to delve into the emotions of that character. He also praised his co-star Kody, for his talents, offering an anecdote about how unswayed kids are. He said they were on set with Robert Duvall and Robert remarked to Viggo how impressive Kody was. He agreed then later asked Kody what he thought about Robert. With the wisdom and innocence only a child could have, Kody said, “The old guy? He’s not bad.” Viggo said that he hopes to work with David Cronenberg again, the man who helped him earn critical accolades in “A History of Violence” and an Oscar nomination in “Eastern Promises.” He said there’s even talk of a sequel to “Eastern Promises” which makes me excited since it’s my favorite role of his to date. Q&A’s never offer anything truly insightful. But it was fun, for me at least, to see an actor I’d always perceived as one way to be something entirely different.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T12:14:00.000-08:00

I want to talk about the turkey. I recognize that vegetarians are passionate about the death of any creature, big or small. I myself was once a pseudo-vegetarian but still sadly never gave the turkey a break. Still, it bothers me when my veggie loving friends (mostly via facebook) feel the need to make me feel guilty about what I'm eating. I don't need to know every detail about your tofurkey and I won't shove any white meat down your gullet. It's not like I'm going out and killing the bird in front of you so save the guilt trip. Okay, I'm jumping off my soap box.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. It's Christmas without the pressure. The Brit, obviously cares little for this American holiday, which is why I'm so happy twin sister is here to help celebrate. It's our first Thanksgiving living in the same city and I'm so excited. Twin power activate!

This has been a tough year for a lot of us, myself included. I've defintiely had my share of successes but also some disappointments. It's easy to whine about what we're not thankful for. The banking crisis, unemployment, the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, or the fact that Donny Osmond won Dancing with the Stars. But there are so many things to be thankful for and while it may be cliche, these are just a few things that make me thankful this 2009.

My Brit, twin sister...she's super awesome, an amazing cook and is so supportive. My Mom, my biggest fan and a true survivor in every sense of the word. Glee, Flash Forward, Chai tea, Barry's bootcamp, My writing talents, Movies that inspire me, Great books, So You Think You Can Dance, my new apartment, friends that stand by me through ups and downs, my optomism, Dexter, The Good Wife, nights on the town, the beach, the past, and knowing that I'll never give up on my dreams.

I hope you take a moment to be thankful for all the wonderful blessings you have in your life.

"So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. so often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done. " Marian Wright Edelman

Up in the Air

2009-11-25T01:50:00.000-08:00

Weird that my first blog back would be entitled Up in the Air. Kind of a metaphor for the way life has been. I know I've been MIA but sometimes things gets a little wonky, (to use a Brit expression) and it's usually when you least expect it. Life is funny like that. It gives you a swift kick you in the you-know-what and you've gotta find the courage to kick back. Hard.

I've always loved blogging. I'm no Perez Hilton (thank God) but I got a kick out of sharing my journey with the few people who do visit frequently. When you have a blog, you open yourself up to complete strangers. You invite them in to kick off their shoes and settle in, while you share the ups and downs, which are common when you're trying to break in to Hollywood. And I love that. But sometimes, there are things you can't share or don't want to. If you're Brangelina the paparazzi make that difficult. If you're l'il ole me, you just give the blog a break. It was important for me to take a step away, regroup and get back in the saddle. So I'm back and saddling up. And if you're still stopping in to see what's up, thanks and keep coming back.

I'm sadly no longer writing for "Cold Case." It was an amazing experience and I learned a lot. I know I'm a better writer for it and I loved seeing how the room operated. Every show is diferent but it was a good place to start.

While I'm not on the show, I am still writing. I will get another job and anyone who knows me, knows that when I set my mind to something, it happens. So I need more original material. I'm working on a pilot which is challenging, to say the least. I'll be glad to be at the stage where I've written my first pilot and am starting another one. Because it's a process that's so new to me. You're not just creating a world characters and an interesting story. It's setting up something unique. It's fun but a process that requires a lot of time. Good thing I have plenty of that.

I'm also working on a top-secret project that has my writer juices flowing (sounds dirtier than I intended). Needless to say, I'm inspired and that feels good.

I'm not ready for the holidays to be here but until I invent a way to slow down or speed up time, I'll have to make the best of it. We're spending Turkey Day here and we'll head back to Kingsville for Christmas. Mom can't travel now so we won't be spending it on the West or East Coast. It's my first Christmas not in NY and I'm a little sad. But it's really more about family so I know it'll be an awesome time.

In between writing and bootcamping, I've also been catching a lot of great movies and I'll be blogging about some of them soon. So many great films have come out or are coming out, it has me hopeful. I just wished they didn't release all the great ones in a span of two months. Um, we like to see good movies in the summer time too. Also, if you're interested, you can check out my review of the awesome new film, "Up in the Air" starring the always handsome model lover George Clooney. Be sure to leave a comment after the review so everyone knows how awesome Poptimal (and it's writers) really are.

"The Big Fan"

2009-09-13T01:50:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this review by saying that I may not be a huge sports fan, I'm a huge sports movie fan. I grew up in Texas so football was a rite of passage. My Dad LOVED the Dallas Cowboys, win or lose and they did a lot of both in his lifetime. I became a bit of a basketball freak in high school, at first to impress the boys and then because I really truly loved the game. My sister and I followed the Spurs but like most fans, loved the Chicago Bulls. Having been born in Chicago, we felt it was acceptable to root for them. We watched them win several championships and knew the starting lineup by name and sight. So imagine our surprise when at a theatre conference our senior year in high school, the Charlotte Hornets were staying in our hotel. Matt Geiger and some of the other lesser known players were really kind which seems only natural considering we were extremely sweet and cute high school girls who giggled whenever we passed them. But then we spotted BJ Armstrong, who had helped the Bulls win three of their titles. After much deliberation and argument, twin sister finally gathered the courage to approach him for an autograph. A true fan, she had her pen and her notebook. But when she approached him and said "I'm just a really big fan. I'd love to get your autograph," did he say "Thanks, that's so sweet." Or "Glad you know who the hell I am because since I left the Bulls, my careers in the toilet and I'm lucky to score two points if they even let me off the bench." Nope. He kept talking to the clerk, made no eye contact, ripped the paper from her hand, scribbled his signature and handed it back to her without so much as a thanks. End of hero worship in that moment. But I never stopped loving movies about sports. Seen 'em all.

A long intro to a movie review but I understood (if only to a minor degree) the love of the game and it's players that is portrayed in Robert Siegel's "The Big Fan." The fan in question is Paul Aufiero, (played by comedian Patton Oswalt, who proves yet again that comedians are equally adept at drama) is a thirty seven year old loser who lives with his mom, works taking tickets at a hospital parking garage and loves The New York Giants more than life itself. Paul's such a fan of the Giants that after a chance encounter at a nightclub leaves him beaten up and hospitalized by his idol Giants QB Quantrell Bishop, Paul still refuses to sacrifice his love of the team. Not for money, family or a better life. It's maddening but you actually understand who this guy is. Oswalt's performance is nuanced and painfully real and the supporting cast delivers especially his equally sad sack best friend Sal, played by Kevin Corrigan. Paul's family, a typical Staten Island brood could have been cliched but seemed grounded in realism. This wasn't a movie I can say I loved. But I certainly didn't hate it. It was entertaining and interesting. I enjoyed the performances and I thought the heightened level of tension the director created was great but I felt it could have delivered more, especially for Paul. His character was heartbreakingly real but I wanted him to experience some sort of growth or revalation at the end of the film and I never got it. He was the same loser we met in the beginning. Still, I think for a sports fan, it's definitely worth checking out. After reading the reviews, I have a feeling that this film is going to get lots of buzz.

At the screening we attended, director Robert Siegel spoke. Siegel wrote the Academy Award nominated film, "The Wrestler" and it was interesting to hear how the process occurred with The Big Fan being one of his first screenplays and getting him on Darren Aronofsky's radar. While the Wrestler took center stage, it would be another seven years before he could make the Fan and that was with strong interest from Hollywood. While I admired his efforts, I thought at the Q&A he trivialized both the challenges in writing a good story and directing. Like the recent article by Josh Olson, I felt like this was week of hearing successful writers make light of the craft and endeavor their achievements as something that only happened because tehy were truly brilliant. Yes, they are talented but somewhere along the way someone gave them a break. I'm certain there are some naturals out there but once you're on the other side, you should recognize that not only are you talented but you're incredibly lucky. You made it and people are looking at you to guide them. I felt like as a director he was there to talk up his project and impress us with the passion he had for it and instead he talked down to his audience. Of course, there's no way of knowing if he was nervous or jet lagged or maybe just sick of answering the same old questions but it made me like his movie a little less. I think the movie was relevant to me, especially after reading these articles and seeing this Q&A because whether it's football, basketball, or screenwriting, fans are what got you where you're at. And long after the lights fade or the credits roll or the stadiums empty out, it's who you are and what you've given back to those people that really matters.

She's BAAAACCKKKK!

2009-09-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

I have, I believe used that same headline in a blog post after an extended absence but since no one really reads this damn thing anyway, who the hell cares. At this point, I'm almost certain that my beloved fans and followers have given up on me. But my own sense of self-importance forces me to believe at least one or two people may still stop by to see what wisdom I have chosen to bestow upon them. Where have I been? Working hard for the money. Who knew that being a TV writer were so dang time consuming? Writing my free blog just isn't a priority any more but I do miss it something awful so here I am at 2am on a Saturday.

How's "Cold Case" you ask? You didn't ask. Well, I'll tell you anyway. It's awesome. It's long hours and lots of work but I'm definitely not complaining. I feel like I learn something new every day and I know that I'm growing as a writer just being surrounded by all of these amazingly talented and intelligent people.

My episode will begin breaking soon after being delayed due to an unexpected trip to Texas after my mother got ill. Not just a cold ill. Like hospitalized in the ICU ill. Some scary stuff. She's doing better for now but I'm on a mission to get her out here to LA where I can help her out and visit when she gets sick again (an inevitability with her condition) and it won't require a two hour plane ride, four hour car trip and a stay in a motel to do it. Of course, It means navigating the twisted and often unscrupulous world of the health care system but I deal with Hollywood people so this should be cake.

I hadn't blogged about it but I now have an agent as well as a manager and am officially a member of the Writers Guild. If you had told me a year ago (which is now almost a year since the workshop began) I would have thought you were crazy. But it goes to show that good things can happen and dreams do come true. I'm going to post a review of a movie I saw but I'm excited about writing my first episode and anticipating our upcoming season premiere "The Crossing" on Sunday, September 27th at 10pm (EST). Set your TIVO'S people!

Alive

2009-06-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

I am indeed alive. It's been almost five weeks since I began my job. Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. And I'm having a blast. Of course it's also incredibly stressful and fills me with fear on a daily basis. But maybe that's a good thing. I left Texas and then New York because I didn't want an ordinary safe life. My old job was fun and easy but it wasn't challenging me, pushing me to discover new things about myself or teaching me things I didn't know. And guess what? There is a lot I don't know. Crazy huh?

It's still too early for me to feel I can offer any advice that will benefit the few of you who still stop by. Hopefully after a few months that will change. For now I'm learning each day and trying not to screw up.

Twin sister is living with me and it's awesome. She's doing the job hunting thing and when I arrive home, weary from a long day at the office, she's got dinner on the table and a bottle of wine open. It's a good life. With the Brit being away for the summer, she's a lifesaver.

We do dorky things like watch "So You Think You Can Dance" (I vote, don't judge!) go to Power Yoga and see movies no one should pay $14.00 per ticket...yes, I'm talking about you, "My Sister's Keeper." After four long years apart, it's nice getting to do all these things we'd talked about. I'm so excited she's here and keeping me nourished (and inebriated!)

This weekend is jam packed. There's a double feature on the horizon- Public Enemies and Up. There's bootcamp and yoga and a much needed hair cut. Two..yes, two barbecues and some sleep and if I can squeeze it in, hopefully the beginning of a Wire love affair. It's the way I feel our forefeathers would have wanted me to celebrate. Happy 4th Everyone!

Hip Hip....

2009-05-28T18:52:00.000-07:00

Months have gone by and I've been mum on what's happening on the old career front. Call me superstitious (go ahead, I dare you!) but I didn't want to talk about it until it was a sure thing.

And now it's official. I am STAFFED! I am officially a staff writer for the TV show "Cold Case." It almost doesn't seem real as I type it. Each day has been tension filled. Checking DeadlineHollywood for pilot news, what got picked up, hoping it was the show I met on. It was a whole new ballgame and one that surprised me because I thought acting was stressful. But now it's all over and while it would be nice to relax before I start work on Monday, I have a lot of preparation to do.

I'm sad to leave the day job I've had for the past few years. I worked for an amazing family and while most people were telling their bosses sayonara and never looking back, I feel nothing but gratitude for a job that allowed me freedom to write and create. But even they understand just how big of a deal this is. And their support makes it even more satisfying.

It's been a long road, folks. I know there are people who might disagree but I've been trying to make things happen for a long time now. I always dreamt of having a career in Hollywood and I know this is only the beginning. For so long, I thought my destiny was acting. I even worried that it'd be bittersweet when and if I admitted to myself that acting wasn't what I wanted anymore but I've realized that dreams change. Believe me, I know what's in store. Long hours, big expectations and having to prove that I belong. But we all know, I LOVE a challenge.

The WB Writers Workshop was the only reason this was able to happen. It doesn't matter how talented of a writer you are, you need a way in. This was one hell of a way in. I would have never gotten a manager, or half the meetings I got. I would never have been staffed. NO question. If anyone is hesitating in entering this year, I say stop hesitating and start making that spec sparkle and shine.

Twin sis has been in town and along with the Brit, we celebrated properly. They even sent me flowers!

Now it's time to get down to work. I don't know what's going to happen but I'm excited about the possibilities. I'll definitely let you know how it's going.

The Mane Truth

2009-05-21T22:21:00.001-07:00

The lovely and talented Stella was kind enough to extend an invite for a free hair treatment from Phillip B. Due to a snafu, I got product sent directly to my doorstep. Check out Stella's blog to see my extended thoughts.

Twin sister arrived this week and I told her about the products. I warned her that the Russian Imperial Shampoo was so amazing, she was only allowed to use only use it once during her week long visit. She thought she'd be sneaky. You know how I can tell she's been using it daily? Because it smells like heaven. It's the best shampoo ever created. Hands down.

Head over to Stella's website and check out the review, then pick up some Phillip B shampoo. Your hair will thank you.

A Little of This, A Little of That

2009-05-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

Things are ticking along. Going on meetings and praying (a lot!) I'm superstitious so I don't want to say too much. Trying to be optimistic about what will happen. Cautiously optimistic because there are so many variables. I'm used to the ups and downs of life and I'm just hoping for some ups. But we shall see.

So what the heck have I been up to these past few weeks? I'm glad you asked.

I orchestrated the surprise party of the century.

My wonderful, amazing, supportive mother celebrated her 70th birthday. It was a blast! We arrived, organized the restaurant, got her friends there, the cake, a special slide show by twin sister. Then the guest of honor showed up. There are things in life that you remember forever and Mom's reaction to the surprise is one of them. It was truly special to be able to celebrate with her and all her friends. We hung out, watched TV, stuffed our faces, went to the movies, ate at King's Inn (the greatest seafood in the world) and made memories. Not bad for a weekend getaway.

Twin sis arrives in a little over twenty four hours.

I am so excited. It's strange that after four years apart, we are finally going to be living in the same city (and apartment). Once upon a time, I could never have imagined living apart. But I still believe it was a good thing for us. We had lived our whole lives as "The Twins." We were so reliant on one another. I think before I moved here, the longest we'd been apart was a week. Crazy!

Those four years gave us time to develop our own personalities, make our own friends, try new things and stumble and get back up, all while cheering each other on from different coasts. Of course, I spent those four years, begging, pleading and coaxing to get her out here. My diabolical plan finally worked. She's my biggest fan, my best friend and someone I look up to and now she's going to be here. Huzzah!

Of course, arguments are guaranteed but it's worth it. Especially since I'm doubling my wardrobe.

I saw "Obsessed" and wondered how a movie with no plot or character development could be number one. I also saw "Star Trek" and loved the boys but realized that sci-fi will almost always bore me, no matter how many hotties and explosions they sneak in there. It was entertaining and JJ Abrams is still my hero but Trek is just really not my thang.

That's my last few weeks in a nutshell. Marty was kind enough to bestow the Proximade Award for Blogger to me so I will do my best to post my list of favorite bloggers. I'll also be posting a link to my latest beauty review so check back to find out what I consider to be the greatest hair products I have ever used. No joke!

Inspired By

2009-05-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

Life has been wonderfully busy...so busy I have had little time to document it. I pulled off the surprise of the century (twin sister and I that is) and had an amazing 70th birthday party for my mother. I'll post more about that later.

I was talking with my mother, after watching several hours of a documentary about primordial dwarfs called "The Worlds Smallest People," (which if you haven't seen is utterly fascinating). My mother, who suffers from breathing problems COPD and emphysema remarked that it was a good reminder. There is always someone worse off. Because at 70, she's lived a full and amazing life. She did not have to endure the daily challenges that are presented when you're two feet tall.

Then twin sister came across this article in Texas Monthly waiting in the airport.

I made the pivotal mistake of reading it in public. I proceeded to weep openly like a small child. People in the Palisades stared. The car wash attendants eyed me cautiously as I searched in vain for tissues. I was reminded that we all have our burdens to bear. You can collapse under the pressure or you can live each day for all that it's worth. It's a good lesson when I get all woe is me.

Seriously, this story will break your heart but in a good way. It's a testament to what love, courage, faith and hope can have. It is literally a movie waiting to happen. Maybe a Lifetime movie but a movie nonetheless.

I dare you to read it and not cry. I dare you to read it and not be inspired.

Enjoy.

Huffington and Hollie...What a Pair

2009-04-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not terribly political but I love a challenge. So when my lovely talented writer friend Susanna put out a call for Politiku's regarding President Obama's first one hundred days in office, I answered the call.

And like the good friend that she is, she makes sure I get exposure on the top political blog.

My intentions when writing them were to create two separate (but equal)Politiku's but in the end, I think they work well together. The literal meaning in the second one sounds more downtrodden than I intended, so my suggestion is you pessimists stop being so damn literal.

But wait, what's a Politku you ask? Good question. Click on the links above, you lazy bastards, to find out more and view my masterpieces.

For the Babies...

2009-04-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

Babies shouldn't die. That's a fact. They should laugh and giggle. They should take their first steps and say their first words. They should get older and learn to hit a curve ball or dance in a ballet. They should become teenagers and get all goth-like and tell their parents they hate them and then become successful adults and have their own kids and realize just what stupid, spoiled brats they were and how brilliant their own parents actually are.

But babies sometimes die. Not exactly the happiest of subjects for a blog entry but it happens. And when it does, it leaves an ache and a hole for the parents who never expected to bury a child.

I write about this because a few months ago, a friend of mine told me about her friend Heather's blog, The SpohrsareMultiplying. We were talking about our childhoods and she said how Heather had posted a glamour shot photo taken when she was a teenager. It was such a funny blog entry (especially since I have my own horrific Glamour shots). I found myself reading more of it. Heather's favorite subject and focus of the blog was her baby girl,l Maddie. Maddie had been born premature. This little girl struggled and fought and was now a bright, happy, seventeen month old. I checked in on the blog every now and was always entertained by Heather and Maddie's experiences.

And then last week, Maddie went to the hospital. It was a routine visit...routine for a baby, who was often in and out of the hospital. But life is incredibly cruel. Maddie did not make it. And now that family must try and live when they've lost the most important thing in their life.

I don't have children yet but most of my close girlfriends back in Texas do. And I hope to one day be a mom myself. it is something cannot even imagine having to deal with.

I wasn't sure I was going to blog about this because, well, it's depressing, and heartbreaking and unfair. But it's also real life. Before Maddie passed away, Heather had planned on doing the upcoming March of Dimes Walk. Her goal was to raise $3,000. With the power of the blogosphere, in less than a week, she's raised $30,000. Not just that but hundreds of people have created teams in other cities to walk in Maddie's honor. People have donated to the Spohrs to help cover all the expenses they've incurred. I'm making a donation in Maddie's honor and I hope you will to. I've added a donation button on the side of my blog. Any little bit can make a difference. Any little bit will honor Maddie. Of course, it won't bring that sweet baby back. But maybe, just maybe, it will make sure that another family doesn't have to say good-bye way to their own precious child.

2009-04-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to be normal. Total and completely normal. I want to be a person who can wake up and not want something more. I'd love to live in a town where there was no traffic. It would be like *Stars Hollow or *Capeside where people actually said hello and good-bye and reserved hand gestures for things like waving (and not just with one finger).

Sometimes I day dream about being a kindergarten teacher, taking long weekends and summers away, walking Bo, my German Shepherd dog and sitting by a fire where I graded papers.

But that isn't my life. I had a similar discussion just a last week with a talented and brilliant friend of mine, who also happens be an amazing writer. We spent a healthy portion of our discussion talking about the challenges of a freelance lifestyle and how the pursuit of this dream seems never ending. And everybody I know, who's striving to work in a creative field has had this same thought. Why do I want to do something that is so hard?

But being an artist (and feel free to debate me if you don't think Hollywood writers/actors/etc are artists) means being incapable of ever being satisfied. It means that you wake up each day, longing to create something, to tell a story, to inspire people and inspire yourself. It forces you to look around you to want more...to need more.

But that doesn't mean it isn't difficult.

With the WB program ending, I find myself in a similar predicament that I faced as an actress...the waiting. Of course, I'm writing and hanging out and being productive and and planning my summer with twin sis. But I'm also waiting. And the other day when I threw myself a pity party with a guest list that included me, myself and I, the Brit (who had arrived to my party sans invitation) pointed out something, that while I often thought of when auditioning and pursuing acting I had forgotten as a writer.

He said, "Look, you chose this career path. And it won't be easy. You'll get a job and it'll end. If you're lucky, you'll get another one. But the show will get cancelled or you'll get fired. It's never going to be easy but this is the life you chose."

My initial reaction was to quickly call security and have him removed from the party but he was right. I wasn't choosing some safe profession like stockbroker or insurance salesmen..ha ha. And when it comes down to it, there's nothing else I want to do.

I also think it's important to celebrate the milestones. I've come so much further in a year than I'd even dreamed of. I've written another great script (in a few weeks nonetheless) grown as a writer and a person and managed to gain fans and people who believe in me. That is worth celebrating.

So I'm still on this wild ride and I'm realizing that normal is boring. And I am anything but that.

***Bonus Points if you know these towns...

No Paree For Me

2009-03-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

It's true. I'm not going to Paris. But don't cry for me Argentina. It was my own choice.

I could have gone. My boss gave me the go ahead and tickets are incredibly inexpensive. But it just didn't seem to be the right time to be jaunting off to Paris. Because that's what you do when you go to Paris. You jaunt. I guess. I won't be there so I won't know.

Part of me was sad. I would have loved to have seen the sights. But I'm also participating in the Young Storytellers program with WB on Fridays in April and it would have meant going for just six days. And when you subtract the travel time, it's four days and I'm not flying twelve hours to Paris for four freaking frakin days. But all is right in the world. I moved to LA to create and tell stories and that my friends is what I'm doing.

Read This

2009-03-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

I love blogs. I'm a blog whore. I spend an extraordinary amount of time reading people's blogs. My newest addition to my blog diet is my friend Carson's screenwriting blog.

Carson is a talented writer himself and a whiz at screenplay analysis. He truly grasps structure, something I am slowly learning not to hate. He just gets it. He's given notes to me on more than one occasion.

Yes, there are tons of screenwriting blogs but Carson's is different. On his site, he reviews the hottest screenplays in Hollywood. The newest spec sales are what I find most fascinating. What also makes his site unique is he provides links to the scripts which if you're an aspiring scribe, is an amazing resource. I enjoy his reviews (he steers me away from the stinkers) and I've read some really well written and entertaining scripts. I think my writing has improved significantly with the amount of scripts I've read.

Check it out.

Scriptshadow.blogspot.com

Be sure to log in and comment. Carson loves comments. Tell him I sent you.

La Bonne Vie

2009-03-22T23:21:00.000-07:00

I spent both Friday and Saturday night at the movies and I'm still kinda wishing I had my $26.00 back. And yes, for you out of town readers, that's $26.00 for two movies.

On Friday, the Brit and I saw Knowing at the Archlight. I know. I should have known better but I really was intrigued by the concept.

It was a complete and total mess. The film stars Nicholas Cage as John Koestler, a scientist whose son receives a letter at his school after they open a time capsule. Nicholas discovers that the letter lists the dates, latitudes and longitudes as well as the number of casualties of every major disaster for the past fifty years. Such a great concept. So many ways it could have gone. Like what you ask? I don't know. I didn't write the damn thing.

But what I do know is they squandered an intriguing premise. Look, I don't blame writers. They get notes and then get rewritten and they don't always have control. But let me tell you, I've still got no idea what this movie was actually about. Nicholas Cage is almost convinced the dates are just a coincidence. But then, surprise, he's at the location of the next impending disaster- a fiery plane crash. Of course, they try to show us how heroic he is by running towards the fiery inferno and dodging the flaming people and debris. While this was just a coincidence, he sets out to stop the next disaster on the list. The problem with this is he's not a superhero. He's not even heroic. He's this passive guy, who drinks to much since his wife died and who's a single dad. I held on to hope that the movie would get better but when winds up heading to the next impending disaster site and manages to survive the massive (and extremely poorly executed CGI) NY subway crash, I found myself longing for the credits to roll. Unfortunately, we were only half an hour in.

We meet Diana Wayland (played by "Damages" Rose Byrne), the daughter of the girl who wrote the original letter but she doesn't have any answers. She just joins Nick, along with her own daughter, on his search for answers. Which we never get. My biggest problem (or one of them) was we never know why those dates were written down. The most interesting part of the plot is utterly abandoned. Yes, the whisper people told her to write them but what did it mean? In the end, it all appears random because SPOILER ALERT... The world ends. Literally, the earth explodes due to the sun hitting it and all is destroyed. Except for Nick and Diana's kid who are saved by aliens (the whisper people) and will now be solely responsible for restarting the human race. Sad to say, I'm not making this up. It was truly painful and probably the worst movie I've seen in a theatre in recent memory. When the credits rolled, there was a moment where the entire audience was collectively awestruck and silenced by the awfulness of this film. Be smart people. Heed my warning and DO NOT see this movie.

My spirit was bruised but not broken. I manned up the next night and after a yummy dinner at Tendah Greens, we saw Duplicity. Let me tell you, I have a new crush on Clive Owen. The man is sexy, brooding, charming, sexy and, wait, where was I? Oh right, the movie. After seeing this, I was actually sad that Clive turned down the Bond gig. He'd have been delish.

Anyway, back to the film. I won't go into a plot summary because it's really too damn complicated to summarize. Julia and Clive were funny, sparred well and looked like the movie stars we know and love. The supporting cast shined. Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson gave solid, funny and nuanced performances. In fact, the opening fight scene between these two men was one of my favorite moments of the film.

Overall, the script was interesting, clever and incredibly well written. But...Isn't there always a but. I didn't love it. I'm not even sure I liked it. I didn't feel compelled to throw my Whoppers at the screen but something was missing. I think the biggest problem was Julia and Clive didn't have romantic chemistry. They felt more like brother/sister than lovers.I liked watching them together but I wasn't invested in their relationship. The movie depended on us believing that even though these people didn't trust each other, their romantic connection was just too great. Didn't buy it. My advice is wait til video or when it airs on HBO.

With my movie watching urges quenched, I spent Sunday sleeping in. I brunched at Hugo's They have amazing food and a lot of it is gluten free. Not a concern for me but my friends were in heaven. I had gluten free fish and chips. YUM. Hugo's is a celebrity watcher's dream. Last time I lunched there, I saw John Mayer and Minka Kelly. Today, it was Busy Phillips and Mary Steenburgen (who's aging fabulously).

Then I got a manicure, did dishes, and cleaned out my closet. The Big Love season finale was tonight and I couldn't miss that. This is seriously the best show on television. I've just started watching this season but I feel inspired by the quality of storytelling. It's not TV folks, it's HBO. I intend to have a big marathon and catch up on the last two seasons.

I had made a resolution this year that I wanted to do travel some this year and it looks like it might happen sooner than I thought. My friend, the lovely and talented Lindz is going to Paris and has asked me to go along.

I'm dying to travel abroad again and I've always wanted to go to France. I can still say, J'mappelle Hollie and I think I could probably order a croissant and a cafe au lait. What more do you need? Thank goodness for high school French. I just saw Taken so I'll be sure to avoid telling any hot French men where we're staying. There are a million and one reasons why I shouldn't go (besides the potential for being abducted and sold into a sex slavery) but sometimes you have to put aside any fears and rationalizations and just saisissez le jour (that's seize the day for you non -French speakers).

I'm waiting to make sure the timing is right but it's definitely a possibility. I should know in a day or two. I keep picturing myself, wearing a jaunty beret, sitting at a cafe, sipping a glass of pinot noir. Okay, maybe I'll skip beret but definitely keep the cafe and pinot. Crossing my fingers the stars align and it actually happens. A vacation after the craziness of the last few months is exactly what I need.

March Madness

2009-03-15T00:36:00.001-07:00

This weekend the Brit and I vowed to take some time for ourselves. In this town, you're so busy trying to make it, work on the next project, get someone to notice your talents, you can forget to relax and enjoy yourself.

Friday, we ordered in from Isla Cantina, a restaurant near us on Sunset Blvd. I loved the food when they first opened. It's where Mom and I went to celebrate Leverage and dined again before she left. But the last few times we've eaten there, it's been so spicy. Not, yum, that's good spices. More like, "Oh my God, call the fire department. " I may give it one more try before I give it up though.

We dined in and were too lazy to run to Blockbuster so we ordered Eagle Eye on pay per view. Okay, so it's not a great movie. Not even really a good movie but I wasn't angry or disappointed. It was exactly what I expected and it had a twin element which made me care more than most people probably would have. Shia was good and so was Michelle Monaghan but halfway through the movie when I discovered that all the chaos is caused by a wayward computer, I lost interest. I knew exactly where it was going and I thought, "I'm done." But I wasn't wishing for my two hours back (hello Twilight). Also, they had this kind of weird tag at the end where it seemed like Shia and Michelle were going to get together. Maybe it was so off putting because they hadn't really made it a part of the whole story but he just seemed too young for her. But like I said, not the worst movie I've ever seen.

On Saturday, we headed down to Santa Monica. Our plan was to hit the beach and rent bikes but the sky was overcast and we wondered if our plan had been derailed. The weather Gods smile on us because after we finished our brunch at Swingers, the sun was shining bright. We wandered the promenade trying to give back to the economy and then rented our bikes from Blazing Saddles...yes, that's really the name.

I know they say it's just like riding a bike but I think I've disproved that theory. I wobbled a lot but finally got the hang out of it. We grabbed a drink at The Lobster (GASP, drinking midday, I'm really living it up) and caught some March Madness on the TV. Then we headed over to see Taken. The Brit had already seen it but nothing else is out and he was up for a second viewing. It was just a fun, interesting thriller. I thought Liam Neeson elevated what might have been a boring, formulaic movie and made it an edge of your seat ride. Yes, the story wasn't that new from what we've seen. But I enjoyed every minute of it.

I also saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I wanted to like it more but I thought it drug on a bit longer than necessary. It definitely had some adorable moments. Michael Cera plays basically the same character he did in Juno but he does it so well! He also elevates material and makes his characters charming loveable people that you want to know. Kat Dennings who played Norah is also adorable as well and easily relatable. I loved the music in this movie (which is something I NEVER notice). It wasn't my favorite teenage romance but I liked it well enough.

And now the week begins in full force. I have Mondays off which is amazing because I have a three day weekend. I managed to almost completely waste it but maybe it's what I needed. I've been doing some acting stuff, workshops and class so I don't drive myself crazy obsessing over my writing. Funny how it used to be the opposite.

It is time to start a new project but I may have to wait until thsi weekend before I can throw myself back into it. The Closer is closed and I'm thrilled. It defintiely tested me as a writer but I'm proud of the final product.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be getting a scalp treatment and blowout at Phillip B. Botanicals, courtesy of my friend and fellow blogger Stella. I'll be writing about my experience (and posting pictures) on Stella's blog but I'll post a link here for you to check it out.

Hope everyone enjoy's their St. Patty's Day. I'm hoping to have at least one green beer. That or I'll be doing bootcamp. Ah, my Irish ancestors would be rolling over in their graves.

For All My TV Writers

2009-02-26T23:24:00.001-08:00

The Workshop is winding down and it's been an amazing roller coaster ride. Anyone who thinks contests like these aren't important in helping a TV writer break in, are either delusional or bitter. This has been the most amazing thing I've experienced as a writer. Hopefully, at some point, I can blog about some of the things I've learned.

The WB has completely revamped the Writers Workshop website and it's pretty awesome. Submissions don't start for a few months so if you're working on a spec, now is the time to rewrite and polish. And then write another one. They don't limit how many you can submit, so why not increase your chances.

Now that we have one more week, I have to start an original pilot. I've got a few ideas I'm toying with. I finished an outline and the first two acts of another pilot before the workshop started but I feel like I've learned so much since then, it needs a serious rewrite. It's a little daunting after just finishing a spec to jump into a new project but hey, that's a writers life.

Good luck to all who decide to enter. I know the odds seem stacked against you. Why me, you think? The entry fee is $60 and we're in a recession, but it's another way in the door. This was the first TV contest I entered but I entered dozens of feature contests. Looking back, none of my other material was polished enough to win, but I like contests. They give you a solid deadline, a reason to finish a project and if you win, who knows what may happen? It's like the lottery for the talented. There's no news to report yet but hopefully there will be exciting things to come. Regardless of the outcome, I'm a better writer for it and that's a prize in itself.

Loving Life

2009-02-13T22:37:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

My good friend and fellow blogger, Stella was kind enough to score me an invite to the Kiss and Make-Up Event at Vert, an amazing eco-friendly skincare and cosmetic store in Venice. Check out my review of the event at Stella's blog.

I'm overdue to for on my blogging. It's been a crazy month of writing deadlines. I once thought I could do it all; act, write, work for my acting studio, handle my day job and be a good friend and girlfriend. Apparently, I'm not superwoman and multi-tasking that many things is impossible. Getting sick didn't help either.. Lots of things fell to the wayside, including my blogging. But as the Workshop wraps up, I'm finally seeing the light of day. A few more days rest and I'll be back to blogging. For now, I'm getting ready to enjoy a weekend with the Brit.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day and gets to spend it with someone they love.

Tennis Time

2009-01-28T01:32:00.001-08:00

I'm not a huge tennis fan, probably because I simply don't understand any of the game. I was forced to hold a tennis racket once, as a pre-teen and that was enough. The Brit loves watching it and and any time an Open is on, I wind up absorbing at least some of it.

In the Aussie Open, I've been rooting for Jelena Dovic, a young tennis player who made a comeback after several years away from the game. She battled severe depression and an overbearing tennis father and surprised everyone with some great matches. She didn't make it to the semi-finals but she played well. Her passion and joy at winning again was thrilling to watch.

On the boys side, there's always the usual suspects, Nadal and Federer bound for the finals unless the heat gets the best of them.

But I need more than solid serves or good ground strokes (if I knew what I a ground stroke was) to stay interested. Like so many tennis players, Roddick, Agassi and Sampras, it doesn't hurt if you're good looking and Fernando Verdasco is very easy on the eyes.

He may not have any grand slams (yet) but after beating last year's finalist Tsonga and heading to the semi-finals, he's got a lot going for him. 1.) He's Spanish 2.) He's incredibly good-looking and 3) He's completely devoid of any modesty.

All I know is that tennis just got a lot more interesting.

Quick Update...And Tooting my Own Horn

2009-01-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

Things have been nutty..writing, rewriting, stressing and writing some more. I went to Tucson, AZ (and back) in one day and I rewrote my entire spec in five. This TV gig is a lot harder than it looks, folks, but I'm learning a lot and grateful for the opportunity.

And because you're reading my blog, you're obviously interested in any cool, funny, interesting news or success and if you're not, STOP READING!) check out UCLA Extension Writers Success Storiess. I'm profiled this month.

Love in the Twilight Years

2009-01-10T23:12:00.000-08:00

With my writing deadlines, I'm uber behind on my movie going. I always try to see the top films and I've been invited to plenty of screenings but I've just had too much work. Tops on my list to see are Milk, Doubt and Gran Torino but the Brit had already seen those. And while I really want to see "The Reader," I just couldn't handle being depressed. So tonight I took some time off and saw a great film, "Last Chance Harvey."

Starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson, this film offers few surprises but its writing and actors elevate the movie. It's an enjoyable stroll through London with two sad sacks, brought together by circumstance. Hoffman plays Harvey Shine, a TV commercial music background writer who's arrived in London for his daughter's wedding. Thompson is Kate Walker, an airport survey taker with an extremely needy mother. When Harvey's daughter announces she'd rather her step father give her way, Harvey returns to the airport and meets up with Thompson and they begin their slow romance.

Called by critics a geriatric "Before Sunrise," I feel that it does this movie a big disservice. Films make it seem like love is over after thirty five and this movie is a breath of fresh air. The pace is laconic but enjoyable as we watch these two lost and lonely people connect. Both Hoffman and Thompson should be poster people to other Hollywood actors for NOT giving into the botox obsession. Every laugh line and wrinkle is on display, to great effect. Smiles that reached up to their crinkled eyes, a look that highlighted the years of laughter and tears, it showed on both their faces. And let me tell you, after watching so many frozen mannequins at the movies and on TV, I loved seeing real but talented people acting.

While Dustin Hoffman continues to do layered and beautiful work, my love affair in this is really with Emma Thompson. She's an actress who makes acting seem effortless. From her brilliant performance as both a writer and actress in Pride and Prejudice to the cluelessly happy wife betrayed by her husband in "Love Actually," she forgoes vanity for realism and truth. She's like the British Meryl Streep. This performance is equally impressive and I am now officially a member of the Emma Thompson fan club. Some day, I'd love to tell her in person just how wonderful I think she is.

"Last Chance Harvey" is unlikely to win any awards or break any box office records. It probably isn't even playing in many theatres across the country. It's a simple film that doesn't really reinvent the wheel. But it does make for an extremely enjoyable two hours with two lovely people on a journey of finding someone they love when it seemed like the impossible. A must-see in my book.

2009-01-10T16:50:00.000-08:00

I am indeed alive. It was a rough week of writing, writing and more writing. Besides managing that, I also got called to producers for "Criminal Minds." Hooray! It was my first "real" audition in several months but I felt like I made really strong choices. The same office that does "Leverage" casts "Criminal Minds" so it's gratifying to get called in again. I tried to convince myself it didn't really matter if I got the part, because I have so many other things going on but I really wanted it. That's why I do it. I haven't heard anything yet so I'm assuming, it wasn't meant to be. All you can do is your best right?

Anyway, with the rewrites an entire week away and no looming acting stuff, I'm trying to feng shui the rest of my life. We live in a fairly small apartment. I love it and the neighborhood but it just doesn't have a lot of space for storage and I have a lot of stuff. So today, I spent time throwing out clothes, books and papers. And let me tell you, that takes time. It's amazing the stuff that accumulates.

I've realized though in the past few years that I'm not very friendly to my planet. I don't always recycle. No hate mail, I know it's bad.

My goal is to start being more friendly to my planet. But I'm having a dilemma when it comes to the writing part of it all. I am one of those writers has to see my stuff in print to edit it. I just can't see the mistakes unless it's printed out and I can go through with a red pen and mark it up. I have TONS of scripts that I've printed up to edit, send off to contests or were old drafts I simply don't need. Tons and tons of paper. I know I can toss it out and it gets recycled but I just feel bad about that waste. Some people say reuse the paper it but I don't print my own scripts. It's too costly and I use Scriptcopier because they are nice, they bind everything and I'm not going to Staples every twenty minutes to buy new ink cartridges. So the question is what do I do with them? Any ideas?

Hopefully I'll get all this finished and I can treat myself to a movie. I'm torn between "Seven Pounds" or "The Reader" or I can convince the Brit maybe "Last Chance Harvey."

The break won't last long and I'll be back to editing and rewriting. It may be hard work but I've never had more fun or felt more excited about the future than now. 2009 is already shaping up to be a wonderful year.

2009-01-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

It's 1 a.m. on the second day of '09. I'm up late because my taxi will be taking me to La Guardia at 5am and I'm afraid I'll miss my flight. Mom and twin sister are both in bed and I'm finally able to reflect on this crazy year. Christmas was saved when Mom returned from the hospital. She's not cured but she's doing better now. Typical Overton's we carried on without missing a beat. Mom was even doing dishes and cooking a day later. I'm sure her doctor wouldn't have been thrilled with that but she's never been one to keep still.

As I reflect 2008, it was filled with so many surprises and ups and downs. I feel like so much of my hard work came to fruition this year.

When January began, I had high hopes. I wanted to keep writing and acting and I hoped that if I kept putting myself and my work out there, it'd get noticed. The year started off slowly but I didn't let it deter me. I wrote and kept studying in class. In May, I finished my FNL spec and sent it off to all the contests, hoping that I'd written something someone might like.

In June, I spent ten days back in Texas, hanging with my favorite girls, reliving the past and getting swept up in reminiscing. We stayed in San Antonio for several days, saw the Riverwalk, our old work storming grounds and even went to Schliterbaugn, the worlds best water park, at least to me it is. I got to hang out with Mom and eat at my favorite restaurants, like Kings Inn and Pizza Parlor.

In August, I spent some time in Lake Tahoe for work and enjoyed the beauty and wrote and read daily. I discovered great TV like "Mad Men" and "The Office" (I know, where have I been) and I made bootcamp/fitness a routine part of my life.

And then as the year started to wind down, I picked up momentum. I got auditions for several shows including two for "Leverage" and I BOOKED it! I got to work with an incredible director and talented actors and I brought my A-game. I got the call from Warner Bros AND Disney and I found myself working with a group of incredible writers, pursuing a career I never dreamt was possible.

In the past week and a half, I've been chipping away at my Closer spec and complaining to friends and family while secretly loving the challenge. I'd always dreamt that someday I'd get paid to do something creative. it hasn't happened yet but I'm damn closer (ha ha) than I was at this time last year.

I think what makes all the recent success even sweeter is that my mom gets to watch it happen. She's always been proud of me. No matter what I've done, she's been my cheerleader, my champion. She's the one who encouraged (forced) me to move to LA. She's the one I called when my computer crashed and I lost several years worth of writing and wanted to quit and move back to NY. She wouldn't let me quit and she still inspires me to follow my heart. I'm sure that there will be challenges to come, when my talents are tested as well but I've got a pretty great support system to help me through it.

As for resolutions in '09, I know a lot of people say don't make them but I'm a big fan. I think they set a bar for you to see what you did throughout the year. Some are too personal for a blog me but I've got a few to share that I hope I can acheieve.

1) Stop Hating Food/Learn to Cook- I'm a eat whatever is easy person. And lately it's been whatever is easy regardless of nutrition. So this isn't a lose ten pounds resolution which is so cliche rather it's learn to appreciate food and make it taste good. I bought a great new cookbook for myself for Christmas. I'm going to try a new recipe twice a month. Then I'll have 24 new dishes to add to my cooking arsenal. It's a little ambitious but I think I can do it.

2) Keep writing- Writing has always been a hobby. Now that I'm working to make it a career, it often seems stressful. My goal is to keep writing other things for fun. Yes, I like TV but I'm not going to quit writing movies, or short films or even my novel that has been woefully neglected. I want to constantly be inspired.

3) Hook up my TIVO- Seriously, I pay $14 a month and it's just sitting there. I need to be able to watch all these shows and movies and the Brit needs to capture all the tennis tournaments. I should be able to hook it up but if I can't, dammit I'm paying someone.

4) Stamps on the Passport- In '07, I went to Malaysia and London, as well as NY, Vermont, Texas and Lake Tahoe. This year, it was purely domestic and I want to see more of hte world than just the 405 or 101. My hope is that twin sis and I will still get our Paris/Morocco trip but regardless I'm going somewhere international.

5) Explore LA- I've been in LA for awhile now and there's still so many things I haven't done. I haven't hiked in Griffith Park, I haven't eaten at Koi or been to a museum in months. Things have been incredibly busy but I'm going to find a way to take advantage of this city I call my home.

6) Disconnect-I'm still a computer addict, Treo and TV addict and a movie addict. And while all of this is good for my career, I know I need to decompress from it at times. So I'm writing it down that one day a week, I'll set aside an evening and not email or text or watch TV or any of that. I'll read, listen to music, or maybe even meditate. This may be the hardest one yet but I need to do it for mine (and the Brit's) sanity.

I could go on and one. Save more, spend less, get my puppy (I will get one this year) or move to a bigger place but I think what I've got is a good start. For now, I'm excited to get home, sleep in my own bed, see some sunshine and get back into the swing of things. If 2009 is half as good as 2008, I'll be extremely and totally blessed.

2008-12-29T11:34:00.000-08:00

Mom's out of the hospital and back in Queens with twin sister and I. Hooray.

We managed to sneak away this week while she was still resting at Mt. Sinai to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." The word of mouth was good on this but I'm always skeptical especially since lately I've been less than impressed with critically acclaimed films.

Benjamin though, didn't disappoint. In fact, it's possibly one of my favorite movies in the last few years. It's a beautifully told story and the experiences I've had in my own life, made it totally relatable. Based on F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story, about a man born in his eighties who ages backwards, Benjamin is at both comedic and heartbreaking. Set in New Orleans as Hurricane Katrina rages, Daisy, (an eerily aged Cate Blanchett) tells her daughter the story of Benjamin Button.

Director David Fincher (Zodiac, Fight Club, Seven) has always done dark very well and I think he was the only person who could have tackled this film. it deftly skirted sentimentality and still managed to be completely moving. Watching the opening scenes between the mother and daughter left a lump in my throat but the movie instantly drew me in. The themes are so relatable; living and dying, fate and circumstance. I especially liked what happens in a scene where they show what happens in a split second-a moment that forever changes our lives.

Of course, the special effects were phenomenal. The aging process of Benjamin (Mr. Brad Pitt) were completely real. And unlike so many movies I see nowadays where I'm watching always knowing that its Tom Cruise playing a war hero or that's George Clooney as a lawyer, Brad completely inhabited Benjamin. Of course the most exciting moment was when we get to see Benjamin..sigh...Brad, young again, glowing in his movie star light. It's then that the audience roots for him and hopes he can somehow stay this beautiful and perfect specimen.

Cate Blanchett, without question one of my favorite actresses, looks positively luminous in the film. I adored how they showed that age comes for us all, no matter how lovely we once were or how we want to hold onto it. And my favorite character was Queenie, the woman who adopted Benjamin as her own when no one else wanted him. Played by Taraji P. Henson, who was came onto the scene in Hustle and Flow as well, dispenses wisdom and humor throughout the film. I'd love it if she received a supporting Actress nod.

One of my favorite lines in the film was, "We have to lose the people we love to know how much they mean to us." And even if it's corny, It's true. I always valued my friends and family. I said I love you often, made phone calls and visited but I never realized until I lost several people really close to me just how much they'd meant to me. It really made me appreciate each moment I get with the people I love.

As a writer, I havent been as inspired to read film scripts but I just had to read this one. I wanted to know if Eric Roth's screenplay was as brilliant as the film I just saw and not surprisingly i was. Many smaller things had changed, the Katrina backdrop hadn't been added and some additional characters were cut but the framework was all there, waiting for those wonderful actors to bring it to life.

I'm hoping I'll have a chance to see it again (which I never do) but if you haven't seen it yet, I strongly, strongly, recommend you see it on the big screen. Benjamin deserves to be appreciated on a large screen. And if you're weepy like me, bring plenty of tissue.

Just Because...

2008-12-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

I found a website that had stills from most scenes of my recent "Leverage" episode The Miracle Job, guest starring DB Sweeney. I posted both because, well because, I can. The set phototographer also took photos of me and DB during some down time. I'd love tofigure out how to get ahold of those.

Enjoy!

Holiday Blues...

2008-12-26T22:21:00.001-08:00

I love the holidays and look forward to them all year. It's such a time of excitement. The anticipation, the cold weather and seeing my sister and mother make it even better.

I departed LA this past Saturday on the worst airline in history of airlines- United. Seriously, their slogan should be "We Screw You and You Won't Like It."

Like a well trained flyer, I arrived hours before my flight was scheduled to leave. Then like my other fellow obedient travelers, I had to wait because apparently the customers have to arrive early but not the employees. After checking in, was horrified when my gift filled bags weighed in at fifty five pounds.

I spent almost thirty minutes trying to figure out how to stuff books, scripts, clothes and jeans in my carry on before I finally gave up and shelled out the $140 for over limit feet. I was using a free voucher I got on one of my summer travels so I wasn't flying direct. When I arrived in Dulles, I was then delayed for two and a half hours with no explanation other than, "The plane isn't here." Thanks United for being so helpful.

When we finally boarded the teeny tiny plane, I watched out my window as the baggage handlers proceeded to load the wrong luggage on our flight and then have a major melt down and have to take another thirty minutes to reload luggage. The only thing I had to be thankful for was seats in the exit row and decent weather.

But I arrived safe and sound and ready to visit with family, write my Closer script and eat and see the city sights. Mom arrived on Sunday and we hung out and I spent the day writing in the city.

On Tuesday, I made my TV debut on "Leverage." HOORAY! It was so cool to see and hopefully at some point, I can have it edited and put it up online. Mom made her world famous spaghetti and we gathered around to watch it. I got tons of well wishes from friends and family and it was a really special night.

Unfortunately, the good times were short lived. I was spending late Tuesday working on my writing when around 3am, Mom woke up feeling short of breath. She's got severe emphysema and COPD and after several minutes, I knew we couldn't just wait for her to feel better. I called 911 and they sent in the Calvary, including FDNY who stayed until the EMT's had arrived. These guys were soooo nice, real New Yorkers who told jokes and kept Mom (and Heather and I) from freaking out. We headed off to the hospital where we all crossed our fingers that they would give her medicine and send her back to us so we could spend Christmas Day at home together. Again, luck wasn't on our side and we spent both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at Mt. Sinai hospital in Queens.

Mom's okay now but she'll be spending the next two days in the hospital (a total of five days) and while she's scheduled to leave on the 31st, we may have to postpone that. Of course, I still have to be back in LA by the 2nd but she'll be able to stay with twin sis.

Its been a scary time but Mom's so brave and tough even though her illness can't be cured. I'm glad that she's okay but it's been a struggle, both emotionally and time management, trying to focus on my script and spending time at the hospital (which is one of my least favorite places on the planet) and trying not to freak out about everything from money to my writing.

It's funny because I've had such a run of good stuff that the bad shouldn't surprise me. It's the ebb and flow of life. Bad things happen and none of us are excluded from it. I do often feel like I've had more of my share but it's easy to think that when it's your own life. We've all got our problems. The selfish part of me wants to have a tantrum, scream "Why Me?" and I've definitely had some teary moments.

But I'm also grateful that we are all together this year and that my mother has great doctors who have her best interests at heart. I'm thrilled that twin sister and I can spend time together through this all and even more excited that we might be living closer together in the coming months. I'm lucky to have such amazing friends who'll rally around me, call and email and text to check up on me, come to the hospital with us or just offer a shoulder to cry on. And I know from years of experience that I'm strong enough to survive whatever comes my way.

And while I'll probably post a New Year's blog, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and remembers how lucky they are to happy and healthy.

Dirty Little Secrets

2008-12-03T22:43:00.001-08:00

I hate to admit it but I've been listening to David Cook's new album on my new favorite website Slacker and I really like it. I watched David on AI and I was NOT a fan. He always seemed a little smug or insincere. But who knows how I'd act if I were on TV performing for millions for the first time in my life. Music purists might scott but it's a fun and ballad filled album that is great for writing. I'm especially digging "Light On".

On another coming out of the closet moment, I'm also a huge fan of Sugarland's new album "Love on the Inside." If you haven't heard of them, that's because it's a country album. If you had told me I'd be a country fan, I'd have called you insane and then turned up my Top 40 station. Growing up in Texas listening to country was a requirement until I turned thirteen and became way too cool for that stuff.

I moved to NY and country never even crossed my radar. But when I arrived in LA, I spent so much time in my car that the four radio stations and NPR weren't cutting it. I found myself listening to a few country stations and hearing music that reminded me of growing up, of my Dad or step-mom and some really fond memories came back.

And then the more I listened, the more I discovered some really great songwriters and singers. I used to be embarrassed by my country loving but even mainstream radio is recognizing artists like Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood who are
pure country. Sugarland actually performed with Beyonce this year at the American Music Awards. If I ever install the satellite radio the Brit gave me a few years ago, I'll have a lot more country stations to choose from.

On a side note, I still cannot believe it's December. There are so many things happening this month, it seems unreal in the time management department. I did manage to plan ahead and I've done almost all my Christmas shopping and Christmas cards are going out this later this week. I really have to stop shopping but since I don't really need anything right now, it's fun to buy for my loved ones. This year I actually had trouble deciding what I wanted or needed. How times have changed.

For the few of you who are curious about how the WB workshop is going, it's great. While I'd love to give more details, we are required to sign a confidentiality contract so unfortunately, that's all I can say about that.

Much more happening in Holliewood in the next two weeks but I need to get back to writing. Enjoy the fog!

Bite Me James Frey

2008-12-01T23:06:00.001-08:00

I wasn't angry when I learned that James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces," was a fabrication. I knew immediately. It just felt false, like an interesting piece of fiction but certainly not a true account. I think the root canal scene alone clinched it. I also wasn't crazy about the stream of consciousness style but maybe that's just because I'm a writing purist..or maybe it felt like a cheat.

When the Brit gave me Frey's new book on audio, "Bright Shiny Morning," I had low expectations and I wasn't wrong. Frey made me want to throttle him throughout most of the book. It's a series of LA stories, from the young Midwest couple who make it to LA but then have literally the worst luck in history to the gay/lesbian movie star couple, to the Mexican housekeeper, Frey manages to take completely token characters and ALMOST make them interesting.

How he manages to ruin it is by giving the reader (or in my case listener) pages and pages of useless and unnecessary information that does NOTHING to push the story along. I live in LA and drive on the traffic clogged streets daily. So I don't really need EIGHT PAGES explaining what the highway systems are, how they run and why they're crowded.

Frey then wrote for about four minutes about different people who move to LA to make it.. and don't. His descriptions are so horrifyingly depressing that if I'd read it three years ago, I would have NEVER come to LA.

I like exposition and I like history but that's not what this novel is supposed to be about. I really don't need hundreds and hundreds of pages of exposition UNLESS it leads to something. It was almost like Frey was mocking us (right Oprah?) by trying to be clever. I wondered if his editor read the book and thought, "WTF is this?" I just don't get how it was published without some serious editing. The fact that I did listen to all twelve CD's might prove that he'd done something right but it was more about discovering the characters fate then the writing itself.

What I didn't get from Frey's book and I think his biggest failure was I never really understood what he was trying to say. Part of me thinks he absolutely hates LA and the other part thinks...he hates LA. Every single character, even the ones that succeed all seem so freaking miserable. I mean, is that what Frey thinks everyone in LA is experiencing? Total and utter misery?

I wished I could recommend this book but I can't. I just don't get what he was trying to accomplish. I'm not a novelist and I respect the medium but I wished that he'd focused in on the stories and left the tricks for someone more capable of incorporating them. I definitely won't be picking up a third Frey novel.

Turkey Time...

2008-11-26T22:57:00.000-08:00

I've been utterly and totally MIA and I wish I had a great excuse. Life's just been so busy. I've been doing writing but not more than usual. I think it's safe to say that I've spent more time THINKING about writing than usual which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I had my first meeting with a top agency last week. It was a big one, the real deal as they like to say in the biz. It was exciting and while it was just a meet and greet, it felt like I was finally being let into the the club. I'm hoping their are more to come.

I also attended the "Leverage" wrap party (pictures to be posted soon). Of course, I got there at the same time as one of the stars and was too nervous to do the red carpet walk.

All in all, it was a great party and I got to introduce myself to THE John Rogers, the writer and producer as well as say hello to DB Sweeney and the director Arvin Brown. It made me feel like I'm actually doing this Hollywood thing, ya know?

I also found out this week that I was an ABC/Disney semi-finalist. Obviously, I had to decline but it was great to be "nominated" as they say. I can't help wondering if I would have made it to the end game but I'm pretty damn happy about where I'm at right now.

And now the holidays are here. I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's probably my favorite holiday because I rarely get asked to cook (too many people have tasted it, I assume). It's less stress than Christmas and you get to eat and watch movies. This is the first year I'm not spending it with any family since moving to LA. The Brit really doesn't get our holiday but he tries. I may have to travel next year if its possible unless (crossing fingers) twin sister is out here. Then I'll put her to work in the kitchen. Instead, I'll be spending the day with the Lindz, and her family and some other friends. It'll be a huge group of us and is bound to be a good time.

I realized this week how much I had to be thankful for and how far I've come in the time that I've been in LA. My mom called and her car had broken down. She'd had to go to Mexico to buy her medicines (a sad statement when Americans can't even afford medication here in our own country) and spent money and now this came up.

I knew she'd resist an offer so I did some investigating, called one of her friends and made the payment over the phone without her even knowing. It was such a great feeling knowing that I'd reached the point where I could help her out especially since she made it possible for me to even be in LA.

So this Thanksgiving, I'm grateful that I have a wonderful job, I'm pursuing a career I'm passionate about, have an amazing boyfriend and friends in my life and most importantly, I have a family that loves me, no matter what.

Blessed

2008-11-13T00:42:00.001-08:00

Things have been crazy but I'm trying to take it all in and just be grateful. I think sometimes that gets forgotten. Not to get all spiritual Christian mumbo-jumboey but when things are bad, it's easy to whine and cry and ask, why me. But when things are good, I'm so busy reveling in it and keeping things going that I forget to be grateful.

In keeping with being grateful, I found out that I made it to the Semi-Finals in Screenplay Expo's Screenwriting contest with my FNL spec. There were almost 50 quarter-finalists and then they selected the top four semi-finalists and of course one winner. Sad to say it isn't me. I'm so proud of that script and it feels amazing to find it being recognized. It's also going to encourage me to work even harder so my Closer spec is just as good (and well received!) I didn't even find out that I'd been selected until I received an email from a friend who's attending the expo. I hadn't planned on going but it might be fun to see the awards. They said in the email that they'd already notified the winners so I'm not in that boat. Plus, I know several people attending. Of course if I'd bought a ticket earlier, it'd be much less expensive. I'm just going to wait and see. I still have a lot of TV viewing research to do this weekend.

It's funny because even though I'm proud of my achievement, I still would have liked to have won. Is that greedy? Maybe but it's also why I love contests. I'm a contest junkie and I think I have a pretty good track record. Like the Brit said, if this had been a few months ago, I would have been THRILLED with semi-finalist. But it's still exciting. Other cool stuff is in the works but I'll play it close to the vest until I know if something comes of it.

I'm going to see Bond this weekend and hopefully Slumdog Millionaire. It's such a cool concept and I love Danny Boyle. It's the kind of movie I'd like to write someday. Anyway, it's way too late for me to still be awake but my insomnia continues.

Also, I know that some writers have been visiting my site (WELCOME) and I wanted to give a shout out to my FAVORITE script guy. Yes, I have a script guy. Besides printing scripts to give to people or sending them off for contests, I have to print out my writing and read it on the hard page. Don't hassle me about trees, they know I'm sorry. I know it's sad but I simply cannot catch mistakes on the monitor. I discovered Digital Express a few years back. I don't remember how but it's saved my hundreds of dollars.

Maziar, the owner is the nicest guy in the world and he literally can print anything, bind it, mail it. He's the reason I've made contest deadlines, raised money for my short film (he donated the printing for my fundraising packets) and he's always super friendly. Sometimes if I need a script and he's closing, he'll leave it with the guard at the next building and he lets me pay him the next time I come in. He's located right on Wilshire, kind of near the Wilshire Corridor. If you're in the area, use his services. It's definitely worth it. You won't regret it.

"That Guy"...AKA Dad

2008-11-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

My reading for fun has dramatically decreased since moving to LA. Back in NY, I devoured three to five books a week. I read freakishly fast. Call it speed reading or just a sickness, but if I find a good book, then I won't be able to stop it until it's done. I guess it's kind of like everything in my life, an all or nothing approach. But between acting and writing and watching TV for research (really, it's research) and movies and hanging with friends, books get put on the back burner.

I started "The Night of the Gun" about two months ago. That might be a record for a book that's left unread but I had a hard time getting into it. I love memoirs, like, "The Liars Club" or "Angela's Ashes" or "Dry" or one of my favorite "Me Talk Pretty One Day."

But initially "The Night of the Gun" by New York Times writer David Carr, seemed like yet another addict story and when you grow up living with an addict, reading about it seems horribly unnecessary. The title refers to Carr's foggy memory over a night out with a friend he thought had a gun. Only Carr's research discovers he was the one carrying the gun.

Halfway in though I was hooked. In fact, it's an engrossing story that also hit a little close to home. Surprisingly, twin sister didn't mention that, though maybe it didn't affect her the way it did me (funny how books do that!)

Carr was an alcoholic junkie who spent years hurting the people he loved and then in the midst of his downward spiral, his girlfriend, also an addict, became pregnant with his twin daughters. The easy version is he got straight because of them and became a model single father. Of course the truth is much less black and white and Carr tells it without holding anything back.

The difference with this book is that Carr, the author is also a reporter and he tells his story by interviewing all the people he hurt, screwed over, beat down and disappointed in his almost fifteen year struggle with drugs and alcohol. He also included police reports, letters and notes from rehab counselors.

I am not an addict of any kind (unless Starbucks is a yet undiagnosed addiction with a 12-step program coming to a neighborhood near me) but I grew up witnessing addiction firsthand. It's loud and angry and unrelenting and the pain lingers. I always knew what it felt like from my perspective but Carr gave me some insight into the monster's own life and what my father may have dealt with.

A friend told Carr what he thought as he watched his friend's descent into addiction.

"You also seemed to have the need to push others to cross those lines with or without you. That was your challenge, and it was constant and relentless and bold and even beautiful at times. But it could also get pretty fucking ugly. Because as often as not, at the end of the day, when you and the rest of us were spent and sick from the drugs and the drinking and whatever other mischief we had gotten ourselves into, and there was nothing left, you were still pushing."

But he saves the book and his reader from being horribly depressed by having lots of humor when talking about his own screw ups.

Of his own incessant indulgences, he writes.

"I was like Fat Elvis without a whisp of the talent or legacy."

My favorite passage is also the most tragic because I remember what it was like dealing with the endless disappointments and lies, the mood swings and the abandonment that a child of an addict faces .

But Carr offers his own failings up for all to see .

"Going back over my history has been like crawling over broken glass in the dark. I hit women, scared children, assaulted strangers, and chronically lied and gamed to stay high. I read about That Guy with the same sense of disgust that almost anyone would. What. An. Asshole. Here, safe in an Adirondack redoubt where I am piecing together the history of That Guy, I often feel I have very little in common with him. And that distance will keep me typing until he turns into this guy."

It was this passage that took my breath away. I knew That Guy. He was my father, the man I called Daddy and I always dreamed, hoped, prayed he'd get it together, even at the very end when it was obvious time had simply run out.

Unlike Carr, Daddy never got clarity or found salvation. His love for "his girls" wasn't enough. Carr is honest enough to admit upon reflection (and glaring evidence) that even after his twins were born premature because their mother had been addicted to drugs, that it took him at least seven months to clean up. In fact, the story he tells of going to a drug den and leaving the girls in the car for what might have been hours reminded me of many evenings Daddy had to run an "errand" and twin sister and I waited patiently in the car.

It was fleeting but I had moments of why him. Why wasn't Daddy strong enough to kick the drugs and become an upstanding citizen? Why couldn't he write books and interview celebrities instead of languishing in a catatonic state until he took his last breath? Maybe Carr was different than my father because he had a gift, a skill of telling stories that people always paid him for. Or maybe his demons just weren't as powerful as Daddy's. Carr came from a loving two parent home while Daddy lost his mother to cancer and his father to his own alcoholism. Or maybe those are just excuses I make for his failings as a father.

In the end, I loved this book more than I can say. It truly struck a chord with me and it's been awhile since I read a book and dogeared pages to read over later. I may never really understand how a man can keep self destructing when he has so much to live for but at least I got a little more insight to the battle. It is of course too late for Daddy but Carr knows just how lucky he is.

"I now inhabit a life I don't deserve, but we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. This trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon."

YES WE CAN!

2008-11-06T12:18:00.000-08:00

Despite my promises not to get political, the great thing about having your own blog is you can lie and no one can get mad. This ain't the NY Times folks.

In case you fell off the face of the earth, Barack Obama is the President Elect of the United States. I'll be so excited when January rolls around and we can call him The President.

I spent election eve with friends having cocktails and gluten free pizza (which is a lot tastier than it sounds). I hoped that this election would end the way it did and yet felt a little sad on a personal level for Senator McCain. He's a great man who just couldn't compete with Barack's ideas and visions. It was like if Justin Timberlake ran against Mick Jagger. Both good, but one is just newer, shinier. Senator McCain won't run again and I'm certain that the Republican party is searching for their own shining star for 2012 (and let's hope Sarah isn't it!)

I'm ecstatic over Obama's resounding win. The one thing I know is that no matter what, Obama will disappoint a few million people. It's inevitable. No one comes into this office with the kind of problems he's facing and doesn't find himself being clobbered. What I think this proves though is the country does want change and that people are hopeful. It also gives me hope that even though Prop 8 passed,(which if you're not a California was the proposition that bans gay marriage) that someday we'll all have equal rights.

I think what makes me most excited about the results is the idea that America has somehow redeemed itself in the eyes of the rest of the world. For the past four years (and perhaps eight) other countries have begun to see America as bullies. They have lost respect for us and while we as a nation don't have to be the Homecoming Queen or Kings, I think it's always been our "thing" to be the country everyone aspired to be like. Obama is not infallible and there will be plenty of detractors waiting to point out all his rookie mistakes. But he's got great ideas and the passion. The people have spoken and it makes me proud to be part of this historic moment in our country. And while it's been said over and over- by me, in songs, and speeches, poetry and films, nothing is truer in this country. Dreams really do come true!

Leverage Update!

2008-10-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

I got called in to do some ADR for "Leverage." For those who don't know what that is and I didn't technically know, it's Automated Dialogue Replacement, which is really cool because they bring you in and just record new dialogue which they loop over the current stuff or in my case add dialogue where there wasn't any before.

It was my first chance to watch all this on a big screen. I'll confess to being nervous about watching myself. I love acting but watching yourself brings out all kinds of insecurities. Thoughts of, "Do I look fat," or "I wasn't truthful in that scene," can drive you crazy. Fortunately from what I saw, I'm proud of my performance. I do think one of my scenes may be chopped but hey, that's showbiz right.

It was still really cool. I only had to record a few lines of dialogue for the big fight scene that takes place between DB Sweeney and the other gangsters. I'm an innocent bystander but I do get to shout and yell like the girly girl that I am. I said things like, "Stop it. You're hurting him. Somebody help." All that good stuff. It was fun and it makes me wish I was getting more auditions and a chance to flaunt my stuff. But that's not really in my hands right now so I won't blather on about it.

Not to toot my own horn but the scenes I saw look great and I was told that the current air date is December 23rd. It'll be awesome to have the chance to watch it in NYC with my mom, twin sister and all of my friends when I'm back East.

I'll of course, in the name of my own shameless self-promotion let you know when the air date is confirmed. I'll be heading out of town tomorrow until Thursday or Friday for work and then hopefully, the Brit and I can sneak away to Santa Barbara. It's literally the last weekend I'll have free until the holidays. Not that I'm complaining but I'm crossing my fingers that my Halloween boycott includes a night (or two) in SB.

Movie Madness

2008-10-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

I saw Clint Eastwood's "The Changeling" this week and I was a little disappointed. The film is based on the true story of Christine Collins, a woman whose son disappears and the LAPD bring back a boy she swears isn't hers. What happens next forces Christine to stand up against an insanely corrupt police force.

I read the screenplay earlier this year and loved it. It was dark and twisted but well written and I felt for the characters. I probably haven't truly expressed my LOVE of Clint Eastwood. I really do. If Clint asked me to be his PUH (for those unacquainted with US Weekly, that's Personal Umbrella Holder) I'd do it. Critics can say what they want but Million Dollar Baby was a perfect film and as an actor, I've loved so many of Clint's performances including "In the Line of Fire." But the Changeling just didn't do it for me.

SPOILER ALERT******
The pace was sloooowww and I felt like many scenes could have taken half the time. When Christine is committed against her will after speaking out against the LAPD, the scenes in the asylum drug on and on. The movie clocked in at over two and a half hours and felt it. The film takes a twist when we learn that the kidnapper who took Christine's son is a serial killer who murdered dozens of young boys. Based on actual events, the Wineville Chicken Coop Murders stunned Los Angeles. The film handles the distasteful story well but isn't any less disturbing. If I were a parent, I'd have had a much harder time sitting through this film.

Angelina Jolie delivers a solid performance but whether it was the direction or the script, it felt very one note. She's so beautiful to watch but it felt like there were two emotions- devastation and anger. None of it struck a chord for me. I'll be the first to say it may be because I knew exactly what was going to happen but I'll never know for sure. I just wouldn't recommend it wholeheartedly.

Clint is still the man in my book and I'm anxiously awaiting his next movie Gran Torino. For the record, I read that script as well. I truly truly loved this screenplay. In fact, it was quite possibly one of the best scripts I read. The trailer doesn't quite do it justice but I have high hopes for the film. I've posted the trailer for your own enjoyment.

16 More Years!

2008-10-24T16:47:00.001-07:00

Will Ferrell and Tina Fey rock! Despite my previous pronouncements about not getting to political, this was too funny not to post.

The Week in Review

2008-10-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

This week has felt stressful. Lots of planning and working and not enough balance. Got to incorporate that ASAP. Last weekend's massage may not have been the best idea. I think Swedish massage is officially out for me. After my chiropractic difficulties, I should have known better. It seems to have affected my shoulders and neck. Perhaps it might just be stress but I've dealt with much worse before. Despite the discomfort, I made it to bootcamp after almost a week off. I hadn't felt well last week and was honestly just being lazy. It felt good tonight but I struggled mostly because of my neck and back hurting. Hopefully it gets better. Gotta get my sprint back to a 9.5 or 10.0! I was annoyed at myself too because I forgot to bring a sports bra and had to pay $20....for a sports bra!!!!! Reason 7,299 why I'll never be rich.

I had to drop out of the grad film because of the workshop which is a good reason. They just couldn't guarantee me being wrapped early enough and I couldn't risk being late. It's not a paid role and it was only a few lines. Obviously, now is the time when I'll have to start choosing between the acting and writing and that's fine because I really do love both.

I've just finished the feature I wrote with my partner and we're staging a reading for November. It's so exciting when you have something you're really proud of. It'll be even better if we can get someone to buy it or rep us. Of course now probably isn't the best time to sell scripts because, hello, there's a major recession and I just read this horribly depressing article about the state of indie film but I'm hopefully optimistic. And who the heck knows? Maybe it could be a studio film. I don't mind selling out. Is that so wrong? I like Hollywood movies and indies. I'm also working on my pilot. It's been in the works for a long time but I've felt inspired and I want to get it done instead of just talking about it.

What else? I'm attending a benefit at the California Heritage Museum tomorrow. It's a great museum and should be a fun evening. I hope they raise a lot of money. They'll have hay rides, country music and tequila. What more could a Texas girl want? Unfortunately the attire is Western. How is it possible that I don't have ANYTHING western? I mean, I grew up in Texas. Oh right, I boycotted anything remotely Texas related. C'est la vie. I'll wear knee boots and a denim skirt. Isn't that LA's version of Western wear?

Saturday is laundry day (how exciting) and hopefully I'll squeeze in some writing. I've taken two weeks off from acting class just so I can breathe a bit and since I'm going away for a few days for work, I won't feel so overwhelmed.

On Sunday, I've been recruited to make calls for Obama. This is so far out of my comfort zone but I've decided to man up for the cause. I'm not really a political person but I do believe in his message and HOPE that he wins. I don't care how far ahead in the polls he is, I'm not relaxing until he's making his acceptance speech. There's a lot riding on this election...not just my future but that of the family I hope to have someday. Trusting politicians is always difficult. I don't think Obama can be perfect, not with the expectations so many have but I do believe that there needs to be a changing of the guard. And I'm hoping that even my tiny contribution can help with that.

More Weekend Ramblings...aka I can't think of a Clever Title

2008-10-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

Things have been crazy busy but I guess I kinda thrive on that. Last weekend, while anxiously awaiting "THE CALL"I got to spend an entire day with the Brit. That rarely happens because frankly, we're busy people.

We dined at Little Next Door, which if you haven't been, especially for brunch, get there pronto. I hadn't been in probably a year and it's so adorable. The last time we had a French waiter and while the French do great croissants and cafe au laits, they are not known for stellar service. Perhaps the owners figured that out because we had an excellent waiter. I ordered hot chocolate and it was quite possibly the best hot chocolate in history. Not exaggeration! The food is portioned just right and it's just got a vibe to it that feels cozy. If the weather were ever bad, I'd head over there.

After brunch, we headed to the Landmark on Pico which is now one of my favorite movie theaters. Not sure why I like it more than the Archlight but the seats are cozy and comfortable and they always have great films...and I'm pretty certain that I sat next to actor (and SAG pres) Alan Rosenberg and his beautiful wife, Marg Helgenberger.

We checked out Happy Go-Lucky, the new Mike Leigh movie. I'd heard great thigns about this film and I loved the performances, especially that of Sally Hawkins.

She's just adorable and funny and so natural. In fact, all the actors were phenomenal and the writing was great. It was a complete slice of life movie and I wanted SOMETHING to happen. It wasn't that kind of film though and I had to settle in and just enjoy it for what it was. I couldn't help but think as I watched it, that if I wrote that film, I would have been given pages of notes. It literally broke every screenwriting rule but when you're a legend like Mike Leigh, who the hell needs rules. I'm glad I saw it though and I'm thinking big things are in store for Sally Hawkins.

I also found out that I just booked a small role in a graduate film at Chapman University. Very cool! And as a present to myself for all the good stuff and also working really hard, I booked a massage and facial at the Lounge Spa in Culver City.

I had never been but they have extremely reasonable prices and it isn't terribly far from me. It was heaven! I probably wouldn't get the Gran Marnier Muscle Melt Down again because I like my massages on the softer side but it was definitely great for my shoulders and back. The facial was the best part. I hadn't had a facial in over five years (maybe longer) and while I take good care of my skin, there's nothing like it. My face has never felt better. If I were rich, I'd do this every week (or maybe every month) but I don't plan on waiting another five years to pamper myself.

Wednesday Ramblings

2008-10-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

I hadn't planned on blogging but I'm procrastinating doing real work (imagine that?) I think actually that's why blogs were invented. Anyhoo, to all the new cool people and fellow writers who've checked out my blog (and been kind enough to comment) welcome. I can't even get my own damn family to take the time to comment. As twin sister said, "They want you actually sign in!" Because we all know how long that takes.

It's funny that in two weeks I've tripled the amount of people who come to my blog. My friend Stella was kind enough to install a blog tracker (which means i can also monitor my stalkers!) and so it's fun to see. I think it's also exciting for others to know that real honest to goodness people ACTUALLY do get these things. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you to folks.

Anyway, I had the chance to attend a taping of the new CBS comedy, Gary Unmarried, starring Jaye Moore and Paula Marshall.

It was one of those weird LA things where a friend of the family knew someone involved in the show and we got great seats, on set passes and a chance to watch a taping (which most anyone can do but not everyone's a VIP..because that's how I roll). It was also really cool because Jim Burrows was the director and he's a LEGEND in sitcoms. The man just gets it.

I knew sitcoms were hard work for actors (and writers too) but you really have to be on your game. They work in front of a live studio audience and a scene is shot and after a scene is called cut, the actors confer with the writers who rewrite jokes then and there and then do it again. It literally gives the actors seconds to memorize their lines. And you've got an audience to watch you when you don't. Of course the writers have to do it quickly as well but the audience doesn't really care about them (sad but true!)

Jay Mohr is hysterical. So funny! And Paula Marshall took a basket of candy and threw it out to the audience. How cool is that? She's great as well. It was such a fun night and while I'm more of a drama gal, I think this one will definitely last...and who knows? Maybe one day I'll be on it.

2008-10-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

There have been a lot of No's in my life. A lot of disappointment and rejection. I chose a path that is not certain. The entertainment industry doesn't have just one right or wrong way. But getting in the door is always the hardest part...and I guess, surprisingly, I found my way in. Or maybe it isn't surprising. A friend of mine reminded me that I'm constantly putting in the work and that is half the battle.

But onto the news...

When I learned last week, that WB received over 967 applicants and I was one of only twenty-one selected to interview, I was stunned.

And then I got the call yesterday after interviewing on Friday that it's OFFICIAL!

I'm one of the ten writers selected for the WB workshop. I'm still pinching myself, still giddy. My mother actually cried which is a rare thing. My Brit took me to dinner to celebrate and of course, because nothing's ever truly perfect, I'm also sick.

Regardless, my excitment level is at defcon 4! I still kind of feel like someone should pinch me. I mean, is this really happening? I'm so excited and also mentally preparing myself for what will be difficult and challenging work. I know that the hard part is only beginning and I have to remind myself of that.

Still, celebrating this achievement is DEFINITELY a must. Can't wait to get started.

2008-10-13T00:57:00.000-07:00

Not a game I like playing. Nothing to do. It's all on the table. And if this isn't my time, it's not my time. Easier said than done...For now...I wait!

(Blog) Love is All You Need

2008-10-08T23:42:00.001-07:00

This blog is way overdue. I had written it and not posted it so I thought, what the heck? Blog love is good anytime. About a month ago, Stella nominated me and Linz McC's gave me an honorable mention. Despite my crazed schedule, I feel the need to pay it forward.

So here goes, in no particular order.

Besides daily reading of Stella's musings, there are many entertainment blogs that I love to read.

Deadline Hollywood Daily- I started reading Nicky Finke's entertainment blog during the writers strike and kept reading because of the SAG going-ons. She breaks Hollywood news, doesn't pull any punches, and loves the business as much as she hates it. It's part of my daily blog diet.

Amanda The Aspiring TV Writer- I like Amanda's blog because she's so young and she knows exactly what she wants to do with her life. I mean, I've always known I wanted to act but then writing came into play. She also answers questions about writing and the business side of Hollywood and even if I know the answers, it's always cool to read other people's insights into this mad mad world.

Bamboo Killers- Emily's blog was linked through the blogosphere. A high school teacher and aspiring writer, I started coming for her plethora of adorable cat photos with blog related captions and stayed because she has funny, no holds barred insights about her writing, her students and life in general.

Jane Espensen-An incredibly successful TV writer, Jane has written for shows that I loved including Buffy. She now writes for Battlestar which I am sad to have missed the boat on. She offers great spec advice.

John August- Another successful feature film writer, John answers reader questions as well as talking about his own adventures in movieland.

Susanna's Blog- Susanna is a fellow actress and writer and quite possibly one of the smartest people I've met. I love reading her musings about life..and she's got some pretty great political haiku's.

Awry Blogger- Jane is Canadian but we won't hold that against her. She's another aspiring TV writer who also happens to have organized aspiring TV writers to unite (for drinks, not world domination!) She doesn't blog as regularly (but then neither do I) but when she does, it's pretty interesting stuff.

Shenita Moore-An actress, producer, wife and mother of two, Shenita inspires me in how she pursues her career and balances this crazy industry. I always love when I read what she's doing and get encouraged by news of her career achievements.

Of course, there are many many more that I check but these are my can't miss and won't miss 'em. So feel free to stop by and show them some love too.

This Beautiful City

2008-10-05T01:40:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to see This Beautiful City at the Kirk Douglas Theatre this week. It was a cool concept, discuss the evangelical movement in Colorado Springs, Colorado and how religion permeates our society. The actors/writers/director interviewed real people and created the play from that. It's called a play with music and while parts of it were enjoyable, I found myself unmoved by it and in some ways offended.

I'm not an evangelical by any means. Not even close. But I do go to a big church that still holds on to traditional views. They're not condemning gay marriage or siding with political causes but they also don't support some of these things. And while there are many things I disagree with, I'm still a believer. And this play often gives just two sides- the zealots and the non-believers.

The group behind "This Beautiful City" is the Citizens who are known for other critically acclaimed shows like, Gone Missing and Paris Commune. The play was full of exposition and never really told a story. Somehow I'd been hiding under a rock because I hadn't heard of Pastor Ted Haggert or the New Life Church which was the predominant focus of the play. If you too were hiding out, good ole Ted preached about morals and America. he even advised our current President. But it seems dear old Ted was a big ole gay meth head (to quote the play). Yep, Mr. Values was living the exact life he condemned on his pulpit (Thanks Ted for confirming so many people's beliefs that religion is just about the money). And for Ted and the New Life church, money was it. Ted had influence over government, both city, state and perhaps federal.

I think it would have been more interesting to see this story about Ted and his followers unfold instead of just hearing the actors talk about it. Some plays like the amazing Exonerated which ran off-Broadway was a perfect example as is the Laramie Project. Perhaps religion is too incendiary a topic or to get all writerly about it, the stakes weren't high enough. We didn't care about the characters and after awhile it started to feel like a sermon. A really well-written sermon but a sermon nonetheless.

There were beautiful moments and the actors were great. A standout performance was delivered by Marsha Stephanie Blake as a hellfire and brimstone minister. She played several different characters but she really inhabited this and as an actress, I was completely captivated. Brad Hebberlee was extraordinarily watchable as a New Life Associate Pastor. His earnestness was palpable and I probably would have bought what he was selling.

Emily Ackerman also created two compelling and different characters-one- young woman who found God and got off drugs AND a transgender woman (born a man) who lost everything because of it but was still a believer.

The music was good but fairly unmemorable. I enjoyed the numbers but after the first act, it all sort of sounded the same. The staging was beautiful though and the lighting and sound was superb. I probably wouldn't heartily recommend it but it was still an intriguing night and a look into a subject I had no knowledge of.

More Good News.....

2008-10-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so part of me thinks blogging about potential good news is bad. I mean, you put it out there and if you don't get it, you wind up with egg all over your face. The other part of me that's so freaking excited I HAVE to blog about it is throwing caution to the wind.

But first I'll catch my three readers up with the latest news.

I returned from my trip BEYOND exhausted. I felt like I had mono (which I don't.) Things were busy at work and then I had acting class and some other writing I've been doing and I was determined to do some agent/manager mailings. This may be a pointless endeavor because of the likelihood of the strike but I needed to feel like I was doing SOMETHING!

I got an email from a manager to set up a meeting AND then surprisingly an audition for House. I had just done a workshop with the casting associate but it's still exciting, especially since I have no agent.

I was really excited and I went to the meeting all bright eyed and eager. Unfortunately, it didn't go as well as I hoped. I'll liken it to a blind date or maybe a drunken hook up. In the light of day, it just didn't seem to be a good fit. The manager seemed less than thrilled with the idea of repping me. Which I honestly don't get because I'm getting auditions and jobs. I'm doing half the work. It was sort of left at, "Call me in a week or two," but that's one call I won't be making. I want an agent or manager who's excited about me, someone who believes in my talents and sees a future ahead.

Still I drove away feeling BLAH! As good ole Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I guess I gave him consent huh? I tried to shake it off and woke up bright and early today for my House audition. When I got the sides, it was one small line. Easy enough. I was prepared, looked cute, (except for an unusually bad hair day) and headed off to the studio. This ws my first time to Fox and it's SOOOOO exciting. Sometimes I feel like a fraud. Like, do I really belong here? And then I think, heck yes, I do. I ran into a friend so we walked to the audition together. It wasn't one of those, I really need to prepare. I mean, it's ONE LINE!

Of course we got inside and they'd added another scene. It wasn't difficult but I guess I just pysched myself out. I don't think I was bad. But I don't necessarily think I was good. And they had about eight of us auditioning so I'm pretty sure that's one call I won't be getting.

I was trying not to beat myself up. It's counterintuitve. So I drug my butt to bootcamp because nothing clears the mind like sprinting uphill and lots of abdominal work.

It didn't really work because the minute I got in my car, I checked my phone because of course you can't let these things go completely. There was an unidentified number on it and I quickly dialed. It wasn't House but it WAS the Warner Brothers Writers Workshop calling to tell me I made it to the next round. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! I had entered it so long ago (JUNE) and completely forgotten about it. To tell you the truth, after I sent my Friday Night Lights spec off to Disney/ABC in August, I just put it aside. I had worked on it for so long, I just needed a damn break!

And then to get this call. It's so exciting. They're only choosing ten finalists so I'm not picking out a parking spot yet. And this isn't the ABC/Disney Fellowship, you don't get paid. But you do a workshop for five months and then the WB people do their best to get you an agent and get you staffed. It's surprising, exciting and scary all rolled into one. As a staffed writer, I definitely wouldn't be able to act but I'd still be getting paid to do something I love which is a good sacrifice. Like I said, it's just the next step...an interview. But it's pretty freaking cool to know that something I created has caught their eyes. Look out Hollywood, here I come.

Saturday Surprise

2008-09-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

I'm finally (almost) caught up on my sleep. And yesterday, I had the chance to see the new film, "Choke." I wasn't quite certain that I would like it. I find Chuck Palaniuk's writing to be slightly misogynistic but seeing as my acting coach, the talented Brad Henke was in the movie, I couldn't pass it up.

And surprisingly, I LOVED the movie. The acting was superb, not just by Brad but by Sam Rockwell and Angelica Huston who still looks amazing (note to all you plastic surgery loving stars, do what Angelica is doing). Of course, there's tons of sex and some unlikeable characters but it works. It tells this great story about a man Vincent, who's struggling with sex addiction and his mother's descent into dementia. This isn't really a review because I'm just too darn busy to write a proper one but it's definitely worth checking out.

At the Landmark, where we went to see the film, we had a surprise when writer/director Clark Gregg showed up for a Q&A. It was completely random and one of the reasons I love LA. You never know what to expect.

Clark Gregg was really funny and honest. He'd adapted the book about seven years ago and said it was a real labor of love. He was asked why he cast Sam Rockwell in the lead and he said that he'd done a play with Sam years ago in NYC. He said that there were times when he wasn't onstage and he had the chance to watch him and even though he was in the play, he'd find himself rushing through his part so he could watch Sam. Then of course when it came time to cast, he thought of him but he said that you have so many people talking to you and advising you that you start to doubt yourself. He credited his agent for bringing Sam back into the running.

Ms. Huston and Sam connected he said in a way that surprised him and their scenes crackle onscreen. He was also asked why he cast himself in the role of Lord High Charlie and he laughed and said, that it wasn't ego-centric enough to write and direct, he had to act in it. Despite the self-deprecation, he said he just really knew that he played jerks well and he wanted to chance to work with Brad and Sam.

I think he's definitely made an impressive film and I hope to see more of his work (and maybe even work with him) in the years to come.

I'm off to the West Hollywood Book Fair to check out my best friend, The Lindz. Have a great Sunday!

Double Trouble In San Francisco

2008-09-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

Just spent the last four days with the coolest people (ALL TWINS) as part of a job I booked. While it was fun, it definitely was a step down from the Leverage experience.

I'm not quite sure when the last time I was this exhausted but that's why I've been MIA from the blog. It was great having time to spend with twin sister and all these cool people but the work was hard and I didn't really get to see much of San Fran. I did see plenty of homeless. It's like San Francisco just decided, they don't care if people have no place to live. Crazy!

Anyway, with filming the last week and work and then this, I'm totally glad to be back but mega behind on getting mailings done, doing any writing or being productive at all. Tonight is all about sleep, Gray's Anatomy and more sleep. Hopefully by Saturday, I'll be back in the saddle again.

2008-09-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

This week was probably the best week ever. If you had asked me a week and a half ago, whether my focus was acting or writing, I probably would have said writing. But my perspective has changed a little. I'm not going to stop writing but getting to act FOR REAL, makes me want it even more.

I arrived to set on Wednesday at 5:30 am. Actually I arrived at 5am and sat in my car until 5:25 because I was afraid I'd be late. I saw the costumer who I'd met at my fitting on Monday and proceeded to follow her until she smiled and said, "I'm pretty sure you have a room."

I had a room! It wasn't glamorous, just a small room in the honeywagon but it had my characters name on it and my wardrobe hung up. It was early. I was sleep deprived and so cold that my teeth were chattering, but I was eleated. I was sent to hair and make-up and then saw my co-star in the scene DB Sweeney, who introduced himself. After they curled my hair (ringlets a la Shirley Temple) and did my make-up (why can't I get it that perfect?) I got dressed and was whisked away in a van to the street where my first scene would happen.

I met the director Arvin Brown and DB was waiting and we ran through several rehearsals. This was the scene where they stopped traffic so that we could film. We did the scene about twelve times, mostly for camera angles and then they left one part of the crew to film more of the fight and we went over to the church to set up the other scene. I was super nervous as they set things up, hoping I'd be good and know what to do. But I've taken so many classes and trained that when they called "action" I felt ready.

I also happened to meet a fellow actor who studies at my acting studio but who I hadn't met before. It was kind of cool knowing that the two of us were working on the same show. Says something about the training we're getting.

This was my big scene where I bust out of the church and tell everyone about the miracle that's happened. My first reherasal was rocky but the writer and producer added two lines so it sounded more natural. How cool to get lines added on set! Then I got to do the scene a bunch of times, with the director giving me a few notes. Then it was back into my first set of clothes and over to film more of the fight stuff.

Then it was lunch and another costume change. I chatted with the other two guest stars, great guys who were extremely talented and friendly. We chatted about NY theatre and the difficulties of being actors. It was back to set that day for the filming of a crowd scene. I didn't have any lines but I was put up front. It was a long first day, and I was exhausted when I got home but almost giddy

Thursday was a much shorter day. I only had one scene with DB, a shot inside the church and then I was wrapped. I stayed a little longer to get my other wardrobe, but then I left and took a long nap before I headed to an acting workshop that night.

Friday's call wasn't until 9:30 am which was great because I really needed the sleep. I made it to set with plenty of time and after finishing with hair and make-up, I hung out in my trailer for several hours. I never felt bored though, I guess because I was just so excited to be there. I had finished all my scenes with lines on Wednesday and Thursday but I was in almost every scene we filmed on Friday. It was fun, even just being an extra becuase my character had a purpose.

When we finally wrapped, it was almost 9pm. I was so sad that it was over but I had learned so much. Everyone from the make-up artists and costumers, to the series regulars and the writer, director and AD's made me feel so welcome. It's sad that its over because this has truly been the most exciting thing to happen (career wise anyway) since I decided to become an actress. The inevitable come down will happen but I'll remind myself that I did this. My hard work and perserverance made it happen. My hopes are that I can get an agent out of this or maybe a manager but if not, I'll keep working hard on my own. This won't be the last time I'll be on a set. I promise that.

Action

2008-09-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

Another early day and I plan on blogging my experiences once we're wrapped but it's been literally an amazing time working as a real actress. I've loved every second of it and at one point as the police are holding up traffic and DB Sweeney and I (my co-star) are walking across the street to the sounds of "Action" I literally thought, I can't believe this is happening.

One day maybe none of this will seem exciting. Just another day at the office. But for me, right now, this is pretty damn cool.

Early To Bed

2008-09-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Not much time to blog. I got my call time for tomorrow and it's 5:30...that's AM folks. For those of you who know how much I value my morning rest, that's early. But I'd be there at 2am if it meant a chance to act. I'll blog more about the whole experience later but I'm nervous and also have a freelance assignment due and which I got paid up front (how often does that happen?)

Mom left but not without a few more days of good times. We sampled a new restaurant called Isla Cantina, which is on Sunset and Holloway. They have great food and drinks and it's surprisingly cheap for the neighborhood. One of the owners (Igor,I think is his name)is so friendly, we felt like family. We even went back a second time! If you go, save room for the chocolate souffle. It's a little bit of dessert heaven! :)

Mom and I also saw a screening of "The Women." You can check at my review at Valley Scene Magazine.

And not to go off on a tangent but Hollywood actresses need to STOP with the plastic surgery, the botox and the lip injections. It doesn't enhance your beauty. It makes you look like melting wax. An actor needs facial muscles to smile, laugh and cry. I swear, some of these women looked like robots or blow up dolls. I think the inflatable doll in "Lars and the Real Girl" had more facial expressions than a few of The Women. Wait until you're Candace Bergen's age, then go for the nip tuck or the lip plump. But don't do it at forty or even thirty five. It's just wrong.

Okay, I'm off my soap box.

I also managed to squeeze in yoga for the first time in months. It was rough. Even child's pose hurt and that's the "safety' pose. It's amazing how quickly the body forgets these moves. I have to find a way to balance all the running with yoga. I KNOW my body will thank me, especially somewhere down the line.

And that's all for now.

You Always Remember Your First

2008-09-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those superstitious actors. I generally don't blog about auditions. Call me crazy but I don't want people to know unless I book a job. I feel like I'll jinx it if I do. I even TRY not to tell friends and family but that never works because I'm so excited that I just managed to get a real audition. So this post is really exciting because I've booked my first ever TV job. My first real paying gig. I mean I've been paid for some acting gigs but it's never been union or anything.

Anyhow, the show is called Leverage and it stars Academy Award winner Timothy Hutton. It's a really cool part I'll be playing and I'm still walking on cloud nine.

For years, I've wanted to be an actor. Actually, I've wanted to be an actor my whole life. My mom shoved me onto a stage and it was love at first sight. My sister wised up and left acting but I couldn't let it go. And yet I'd started to worry. Three years in LA seems like a long time. I've done some work, made my short and gotten some auditions but nothing big. Every actor believes that they have talent. But then you audition and audition and you don't get the job. Seedlings of doubt start to creep in. Of course this is only one part. I'm not quitting my day job or polishing my Oscar yet. It's a long road still ahead but it's nice to have this moment . I just can't believe that I'll get to spend three days on set (getting paid!) and doing what I moved out here to do.

I'm also up for a marketing gig in San Fran that I'd get to do with twin sis (all expenses paid of course) and I got offered work for the UCLA Standardized Patient Program (see Seinfeld for a hilarious take on gonorrhea in The Burning) not to mention all the freelance writing I've landed. My Brit arrives home today, my mom is in town and I've FINALLY landed an acting job. Oh yes, life is definitely good.

P.S...Yesterday morning, I pulled out of a gas station and didn't turn the corner sharp enough. I scraped an SUV (a BMW of course). It was the most minor accident ever but I was driving the Brit's car and the guy I hit was driving his friends car so we had to do all the insurance crap. It hasn't bothered me a bit (except now the Brit can bring up my driving record). It's nice to know the cosmos have a sense of humor.

Family Days: Part One

2008-09-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

Some people equate spending time with their mothers as enjoyable as a root canal or picking ticks off a cat. Not me. No sirreee. Mom's is a wonderful and amazing person and it's like having a really old wise best buddy. Okay, not really old...just old! :)

I've been keeping her busy. After AGT, we spent headed over to the California Heritage Museum which is located on Main Street in Santa Monica.

They have a new exhibit featuring Milford Zornes, a Southern California painter who died this year at a hundred years old. It was a really cool exhibit and Mom and I was glad we got to be there for opening night.

We had a cocktail and some food at the Victorian, which is an adorable restaurant located directly across the street from the museum. They're only open on the weekends usually but they also do special events. The food was delicious and as Mom said, we got to dine "alfresco."

On Friday, we lounged and then made our way to Griffith Park.

Mom can't really do all the walking around because of the emphysema (to all you kiddos, quit smoking now) but we did go to the Autry Museum. They had a Cowboys and Presidents Exhibit.

It was actually quite entertaining to see how cowboy imagery has been connected to Presidents since the early 1800's until now with Cowboy George in the White House. I'd highly recommend it.

Then Mom and I made our way over to the Grove. Some people despise it for its touristy tendencies but it's such a pretty place and it's not quite as big a tourist trap as the Promenade. Mom thought it was beautiful and it was easy to get around for her. We dined at The Farm of Beverly Hills which has surprisingly good food. We made it just in time to see Tropic Thunder. Stella gave a pretty spot on review. It was a movie with lots of potential but I didn't laugh a lot in the movie. In fact, the laughs were extraordinarily sporadic. I enjoyed the fake trailers and Robert Downey Jr. and Danny McBride were acting standouts but other than that, it was just okay. I think it wasted more opportunities but Mom liked it and it was some good escapism. On Saturday we lunched with the Lindz at Real Food Daily which is a popular vegan restaurant. Now I'm not a granola crunchy person but the food here is so good, I'd go vegan if I could afford to eat every meal here. Mom went crazy for it too but Texas isn't exactly known for vegan fair. If you asked for vegan in Kingsville, you'd still probably get a side of beef with extra bacon. If you go, be sure to order the Mexicali Chop or the Enchiladas. These two dishes are my favorite but everything (even the desserts) are to die for.

We did the Hollywood Blvd thing and Mom got her souvenirs to take back to Texas. It was so hot so we headed back home and Apey came over and we stuffed ourselves with tasty Trader Joe treats and tons of cookies. We watched Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which starred the adorable Amy Adams who manages to play wide eyed and innocent without being annoying and Frances McDormand and her surprisingly flawless English accent. It was a cute movie with a simple plot but just really well made.

The weekend wasn't even over and we've already squeezed in more than I do in a month. Stay tuned for Part II of Family Days.

America's Got Something. Not Sure It's Talent

2008-08-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

I avoid things that are mass market Hollywood. I may seem jaded but generally if its targeted at middle America, I'm not going to enjoy it. Maybe it's all the time in NYC and now LA but it makes me uncomfortable, sort of like long johns or watching sexy movies iwth your parents. Or maybe it's that these things draw the idiots like cockroaches after a heavy rain.

But my Mom arrived today from Kingsville and I know she loves those kinds of things. She gets so excited...like a kid on Christmas. I kind of wish I could be like that but I manned up for her.

I got us tickets for America's Got Talent hereby known as AGT. This was the semi-finals with ten of the top forty finalists.

Mom and I had to arrive by 3:30 and they ushered us in. It was pretty organized considering the amount of people that were there. Mom and I were taken near the top row. I teased her they didn't want old people up front. The seats were pretty good except we only saw the back of the judges.

The warm-up act was Frank Nictotero, the former host of Street Smarts. He was funny and nice despite having a very hard job. He had to give instructions on how we should cheer and be energetic without sounding like a nag. He also gave out t-shirts and autographed photos of David Hasselhof...no, really.
I know because my Mom got one. The rest of the audience hassled poor Frank the entire show for those damn pictures. You would have thought he was giving out Wonka bars.

As Frank warmed us up, I knew I was in trouble when the kid next to me with the Southern twang and truckers tan started to yell things at Frank. He'd apparently been at Tuesday's taping and now he felt like family. He'd yell random phrases like, "Frisbee" and "You promised." Every time he did it, I'd literally want to jump out of my skin. Whenever Frank came back onstage during commercial breaks, my neighbor would then wave his hands and shout things out. I have never wished I had a taser more in my life.

I actually like AGT. Last year, the talent was incredible. This year I feel like it's lacking. But there's still another twenty contestants to go so I'll withhold my judgment until then.

Anyway, back to the show. Aside from all the breaks, the show was one half really entertaining and one half really and truly painful. A quick run down of the acts.

Beyond Belief Dance Company
This was a group of twenty-one dancers from Mesquite, Texas. It's nice to see TX representing but in all honesty, there were too many dancers and it was too scattered. The judges said that some of them weren't as trained and I agreed. I saw one girl who literally looked liked she'd wandered onstage and thought, "Ohhh, maybe I should dance now. They're teenage girls who are cute and all but it's nothing that can't be seen at any cheerleading competition in any state in the nation. Definitely not worth a million dollars or worthy of a Vegas act.

PAUL ANSO
A seventy-year old Frank Sinatra impersonator. Not going to win the top prize but definitely a great entertainer and a reminder to all of us that it's never too late to go after year dreams.

KAZUAL
Boyz II Men part deux. This quartet of brothers sang an old school song with no flavor. Piers and Sharon thought that one brother should be the lead and the others should be backup. I'd be surprised if they made it to the second round but they certainly weren't one of my least hated acts.

THE WRIGHT KIDS
This act is filed under the cute kids with decent talent. They're a novelty. They play the bass and the guitar and sing. It was enjoyable but more of a town fair kind of thing. Definitely not a million dollar act.

ZOOPERSTARS
Giant blow up animals dancing around. It was as painful as it sounds. They kept saying Piers and Sharon didn't like them because they were British. I'm not freaking British and I thought it was five minutes of awfulness.

SPC. DANIEL JENS
A solider in the Army, Daniel is a good singer. But he has no pizazz or zip. He sounded great in the beginning but then he got a little rock and roll and it went off the rails. He's got the whole military thing but there are other much stronger singers in the competition. He'll make it to the next round but definitely not the finals.

GEORGE THE GIANT
The really really poor man's Cris Angel. George is seven foot seven and he said he was going to astound and amaze us and then he simply hung upside down and pretended to be a pinata. I wish I was making that up. Bizarro! Piers and Sharon buzzed him immediately. Only Mr. I'm the Nice Judge Hasselhof let him finish his act. Hopefully America gives him the boot because this guy definitely doesn't have talent.

JONATHAN ARONSs
Hmm...this dancing trombone player was entertaining enough but he was seriously out of tune with his playing. I was surprised the judges liked him so much. Not sure if he'll stay or go. I'm thinking he may be safe this week.

SLIPPERY KITTENS
A bunch of mom's who do burlesque. I found them boring. The key (I think) to burlesque is to make the reveal sexy. It's not just about dancing around and ripping off your clothes...because that's called stripping. They may make it to the next round but I guarantee you they won't be in the finals.

QUEEN EMILY

Long live the Queen! We have a winner. Okay, so I haven't seen the other twenty finaliasts but this woman is a natural. It's amazing that at forty something, with kids she's finally doing this. And when she says she was meant to do it, she ain't lying. She owned the stage and you could believe that she could headline Vegas. The producers of the show knew she'd kick ass because she went on last. I'm excited to see the rest of her competition but I think the Queen will win it all.

Mom totally enjoyed this and it wasn't too horrendous for me. In fact, at times I actually enjoyed all the jumping up and down and smiling just in case the camera landed on me.

If you're interested in attending a taping of AGT, there are still tickets available. Check out ocatv.